No one is prepared for the death of their parents. Regardless of how ill one’s parents may have been; no one is mentally prepared to bid them farewell. Read this article to learn about the checklist after the death of a parent and how to cope with the grief of losing a parent while taking care of your responsibilities.
Losing a parent can be excessively hard on children, no matter what age they are, a child will always need his/her parents. No one is prepared to say goodbye to their parents knowing they will never be able to talk to them again. Even if you know they are sick and there is not much time left for them, you will never be prepared for their death. The entire experience will be painful for you.
We all understand that losing a parent can be hard but when this unfortunate thing happens, you have to work through the pain and take care of things that are utmost supreme at that time. You have to make sure that your parent’s last rites are completed without any hindrance and your parents are now resting in eternal peace.
Follow this article to explore about the checklist after the death of a parent and how to cope with the grief of losing a parent while taking care of your responsibilities.
Table of Contents
What is included in the checklist after the death of a parent?
Losing one or both parents can be strenuous for a person. Your mind is not working properly and your heart is full of sorrow. But still you have to control yourself and make sure that your parent’s last rites are done properly and there is nothing lacking. Following are the things you must include in the checklist after the death of a parent.
- Tell your family
- Get legal death documents
- Make funeral arrangements
- Get the body
- Find out if your parent had any last minute wish
- Inform the employer
- Secure the bank accounts
- Close their credit cards
- Cancel their insurance
- Cancel services under their name
- Close their social media accounts
- Pay all the bills under their name
- Inform institutions about the death
Tell your family:
The first thing for you to do is inform your family. Let everyone know about the unfortunate incident. Inform your immediate family members and tell them to inform others as well. Once your family has been informed, you will be able to get some help with the funeral arrangements and taking care of your siblings.
Get legal death documents:
Do not leave the hospital without death documents. Make sure you have everything, death certificate, medical reports, doctor’s certificate, and other important documents. Do not leave anything behind. These documents will be needed when you are trying to close their accounts and cancel their insurance. Also, you will need these documents when you are trying to claim any property of your parents.
Make funeral arrangements:
Make all the necessary arrangements for the funeral as soon as you can. Arrange the casket, burial garment, get the grave ready, and make sure that everything in your house is ready. Get everyone gathered for the funeral and ensure that everything in the funeral will be going smoothly. A smooth funeral service is something that everyone deserves.
Get the body:
Releasing the body from the morgue is something that only children of the dead can do. No one else is allowed to get custody of the body. Even the children have to prove their identification to the officers at the morgue. You must have the death certificate, your parents identification card, and your identification card with you when you are going to the morgue. Releasing the body from the morgue can be time consuming, it is better to do it as soon as you can.
Find out if your parents had any last minute wish:
It is natural for people to make a last wish. Mostly those wishes are of how they want to be buried or where they want to have their last rites. Ask the person who was with them about anything they said in their last moments. Once you find out what their last wish is, make sure that you fulfill that wish.
Inform the employer:
After the death of your parents, make sure that you inform their office about the sudden unfortunate event. This way any pending work that was assigned to your father/mother will be reassigned. Their salary and other benefits will be cleared from the accounts department. It is better to inform their office as soon as you can.
Secure the bank accounts:
The most paramount thing for you to do is secure the bank accounts of your parents before it gets freezed. Once the bank is notified that the account holder is no longer in the world, they will freeze the account under the name of the deceased. Before things get too complicated, make sure you take out all the money and other assets before the account is freezed. In case, the account is frozen then, you will need the copy of the original death certificate and signatures of all the children alive. This will aid you in recovering the account.
Close their credit cards:
It is paramount to close all the credit cards under the name of the deceased otherwise, the debt will keep on increasing and you will have to deal with more strenuous situations. You will have to pay off the increasing interest charges, so it is a clever idea to close every credit account and destroy all the credit cards under the name of the deceased.
Cancel their insurance:
Although the insurance will be transferred to the children of the deceased and there is no harm in keeping the insurance policy as it is. But if you want to end it then, you have to provide the copy of the death certificate of the deceased and cancel any insurance policy they have taken like financial, health, life, or any other policy.
Cancel services under their name:
You must cancel all the subscriptions that are under the name of the deceased. This is supreme because if you do not cancel those subscriptions then, it can lead to fraud and identity theft. Also, these services will keep on charging you even if no one is using them. This will lead you towards a massive bill. To avoid that, you must cancel all the subscriptions under the name of the deceased.
Close their social media accounts:
Although there are some people who leave social media accounts just the way they are as a memory of the deceased. But there is a probability of fraud and the account getting hacked, this will make a tough situation more strenuous for you. To avoid that, you can submit a request to social media for making it a memorial account.
You might have to submit a picture of the death certificate of the deceased, this way the management will know about the death and they will turn the account into a memorialized account. You will still have their account as a memory of the deceased and you will have no worries about the account being misused.
Pay all the bills under their name:
The most paramount thing for you to do is to pay all the bills that are under the name of the deceased. Make sure there is no debt remaining and everything is settled. No one would want to see their deceased parents in debt. Pay off all the bills and settle all the payments before you cancel the services the deceased was a member of.
Inform institutions about the death:
You must inform all the necessary institutions regarding the death of your parents. Institutions like social security administration, voting, passport office, motor vehicles office, and other financial organizations. You must inform them as soon as you can to avoid any fraud or identity theft. These institutions will cancel their services for the deceased and transfer you the important details and documents of the deceased.
What are the stages of dealing with a parent’s death?
We all understand that losing a parent is the hardest thing in the world. When someone loses their parents, they lose a piece of themselves as well. No one will immediately accept this unfortunate event, there are stages of dealing with a parent’s death. Following are the five stages of dealing with a parent’s death.
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Denial:
The first stage is denial and it is a natural state. When you hear the news about your parents death, you will not be able to comprehend it and your mind will be in a state of shock and you are going to deny this news. You will not listen to anyone and your heart is going to hope against all odds that they will come back.
Anger:
The second stage will be anger, you will be frustrated by this turn of events and you will no longer be yourself. You will be irritated with everything and this will cause a lot of damage to people around you. This anger will stem from denial. Mainly you will be angry at yourself and on the cause that took your parents away from you.
Bargaining:
You will start praying to God and bargain with him to bring your parents back to you. Deep down you know this is not possible, but you still try. This is your way of dealing with the loss of your parents. You will hate this feeling of helplessness and this will lead you towards depression.
Depression:
It is natural for people, especially the partner and the children of the deceased to fall into depression. You will not be fit to drink or eat anything and everything around you will remind you of your parents. In your depression, you will start isolating yourself making it hard for people to help you.
Acceptance:
The last stage is acceptance. It takes place after some time when you start to function your daily tasks. When you realize that life will continue to move on no matter how much you try to turn back time, you will be able to accept your reality and the fact that you can never bring your parents back, you just have to live with their memories. When this takes place, you will be fit to move on and accept your circumstances.
How to cope with the grief of losing a parent while taking care of your responsibilities?
It is hard for a person to grieve over the loss of their parents, especially when they are shouldering all the responsibilities. Following are some things that can help a person who is trying to cope with the grief of losing a parent while taking care of your responsibilities.
- Recognize the importance of your feelings
- Take as long as you want
- Take care of yourself
- Do something for them
- Embrace your family
- Know that grief will come in different emotions
Recognize the importance of your feelings:
Just because you are taking care of everything does not mean you have to suppress your emotions. You have to be strong for your family but there is no problem in being vulnerable at times. You have to understand that your feelings and emotions are just as important as anyone else. Suppressing them will only make things more strenuous for you.
Take as long as you want:
You can grieve over the loss of your parents as long as you want. You do not have to suppress your emotions just because it has been one month or two months since their death. They were your parents and there is nothing in this world that will compensate for that loss. You do not have to rush into anything and take your time with your grief.
Take care of yourself:
It is paramount for you to take care of yourself. Naturally when you are looking after everything after the death of your parents, you would not pay attention to yourself, this should never be the case. You must take some time out for yourself and relax. You are also a human and you are also suffering from the loss, neglecting yourself will only make things more strenuous for you.
Do something for them:
The best thi9ng you can do after your parents death is to finish their project or do something they always wanted to do. If they wanted to renovate their house then, start doing that in their memory. If they want to start gardening then, you can start planting trees in their memory. This will help you feel close to them.
Embrace your family:
When your entire family is suffering after the death of parents then, it is paramount for you to keep your family together. The pain, the suffering is mutual so the best thing to do is to embrace that pain together as a family. You have to be strong for one another and this will make things a little easier for you.
Know that grief will come in different emotions:
You have to understand that grief will jot only mean sadness. It might also come in the form of frustration, anger, depression, denial, bargaining, irritation, and anxiety. You will feel all of these emotions when you are trying to move on from the loss of your parents. It is supreme that you do not suppress your emotions and embrace them.
Conclusion:
Dealing with the loss of a parent can be overly strenuous for you and your family. You immediately go into denial and coming to terms with the whole thing can be hard for you. In the middle of all this grieving you have to perform some exceedingly crucial tasks like preparing the funeral, releasing the body from the morgue, getting all the important documents, informing the family, canceling the services under the name of the deceased, and other things that are extra crucial.
Taking care of these things as soon as you can is paramount to avoid fraud and identity theft. Also, make sure that all the accounts under the name of the deceased are cleared otherwise the assets will be frozen by the bank and that will create more problems for you in the future. While you are taking care of all of this, it is also paramount for you to take time out for yourself as well. Take care of yourself and do not suppress your grief.
