Men can keep you confused and dazed if you aren’t looking out for yourself. Read on to find out why he might be yoyo-ing you around.
Have you ever been with a guy who keeps you around most of the time but is very into getting into a relationship with you?
It is important to know that we are talking about a guy who is interested in you in a sense that he wants to spend time with you but refrains from asking you out, dating you, or getting into a serious relationship with you.
Lately, a lot of women have been asking one question: why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship? Don’t worry. This right here is the perfect guide for you to get you out of any sticky, unwanted situations. All you have to do is look out for signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants, signs he is hiding his feelings for you, and many more.
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Relationships might be hard to maneuver at times but it doesn’t mean that one takes it as an opportunity to hang people around on a limp and make them feel unwanted. A lot of time this generation and the older ones have made it pretty clear that relationships are a hard job but, all good things in life come with some sort of effort. The same is the case with relationships.
If someone is telling you that relationships can be challenging to navigate and that it is better to take things as they are going then that should be one of the major huge signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants. There are always going to be tons of red flags in front of you and most of the time, people enjoy the ride so much they choose to ignore the red flags on purpose.
Down below, we have some of the major reasons why a guy might be stringing you along. It can be because of a ton of reasons. Keep an eye open for the following:
Signs A Guy Doesn’t Know What He Wants
A lot of the time people are unable to make certain decisions in their life. This can be due to a bunch of elements such as indecisiveness or to keep his options open and whatnot. In the end, even if it is the lack of decision making on his end, you need to make sure that you identify the toxic traits and the signs on the first go and get out of such emotionally harmful situations.
1. Out Of Habit
One of the major reasons why someone might be stringing you along is because they are doing it out of habit. When you become available for someone for a long period, they become used to the way things are and it turns into a habit. This can happen for both parties involved. Think of it this way. A lot of times when we have work early at say 8 or 9 am, our body gets used to waking up at that specific time and you might find yourself wide awake on a Sunday at 9 am. Why? This is because the body has become used to a certain routine and is adhering to it regardless of Sunday being a holiday.
Similar is the case for a human. When someone spends a considerable amount of time with you, they get used to how things are and their mind turns the relationship into a habit. We all know breaking out of habits can be challenging but when your emotional health is at stake then it is important to jump out as quickly as you can.
2. They Don’t Get Attached Easily
Another reason why you might be hanging on to a loop with a guy is that they do not get attached easily. This is the truth for a ton of men out there. The majority of men are not able to go through with potential relationships because they are not as invested in it as compared to the other person.
Since men tend to take longer to form meaningful relationships, it also takes them a lot more time to get attached to someone. So, if you are wondering whether you are in the gray area theme one reason might be that you got attached earlier than he did. A great way to find a solution for this is to talk it out.
3. Scared Of Being Alone
The biggest issue with men all over the world right who are tagging women along unnecessarily is those who are afraid of being alone. This means that this specific guy might not even like you that much or consider you as a habit but the only reason why you are still in the picture is that they are scared of being alone.
This happens when people are so habitual to having someone around, the idea of being alone scares them. It is in human nature to want someone along with them in good and bad times. Maybe this guy is keeping you around because he doesn’t want to be alone but doesn’t like you enough to be in a relationship with you too.
Signs He Is Hiding His Feelings For You
Coming to the second type, we have the sort of guys who like you, have romantic feelings for you, want to spend time with you but still won’t ask you out officially? These guys, despite liking you, will still not ask you officially because they are afraid that you might reject them. But where is a feeling coming from? Why are they afraid of rejection?
This is a very common case and you have to be on the lookout for signs he likes you but is afraid of rejection. Why would he hide his feelings for you, though? Well, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why.
1. Has Been Hurt Before
This is a major reason why guys tend to be afraid to jump into new relationships. The trauma or hurt from a previous relationship can be so hard for them at times that it can take ages for them to get out of that phase of life. This hurt, because it was so intense might be making them vary to ask you out. But, because they like you romantically and have feelings for you, they still might want to keep you around.
This sort of pain and trauma also gives birth to the victimizing themselves in men and they choose to hang that last breakup or hurt over their heads all the time wanting support and emotional backing but still refuse to ask you out. In such a case, you might be able to spot signs he is pretending not to like you
2. Scared Of His Feelings
This a classic in the book of signs he likes you but is afraid of rejection. This guy says that he feels like his feelings for you are so intense and strong that he is scared of them. They are scared of their feelings because they are scared that something that has been in their life so long might turn into something huge.
It might overwhelm them and make them afraid of what they are feeling. This eventually leads to the guy having feelings for you non-platonically but still won’t ask you out. What goes through their mind in such a situation is that they have such intense feelings for you but what if you reject them and they end up spilling their vulnerability all over the place. Not being able to express such intense feelings can also be a reason as to why he is not asking you out. Look out for this for signs he is pretending not to like you.
When A Guy Is Not Clear About His Intentions
Ah, ladies, beware of this type. For us, this is the kind of guy who will be most definitely exploiting you one way or another. They do this by not being clear about their intentions from the start and keep you hanging by a thread. Stringing you along and constantly nabbing you with uncertainty, these kinds of guys and the relationships associated with them are extremely toxic and can emotionally drain you.
1. They’re Keeping Their Options Open
This is the type of guy who would want you by side just in case there is nothing left for him by the end. He is simply keeping you with him because he wants to make sure that he has something by his side while looking for what he wants. Most of the time, such guys might not even be attracted to you but still, keep you hanging for the sake of keeping their options open.
They might even throw a “We’re not in a relationship” at you if you happen to get territorial. By saying this they remove any responsibility from their end, but will also make sure that you don’t get out of their grip. We know no one wants to be a backup plan, get out when you can.
2. He’s Just Not That Into You
These are the types of guys who are keeping you with them just for the fun of it. They might act all lovey-dovey at times but there are no genuine feelings attached to those sentiments. The main reason why they are not asking you out but still keeping you around is that they just do not like you enough. This is a huge red flag and one should sprint out of such people’s lives.
3. Friends With Benefits
Next up, we have people who you might be in friends with benefits sort of situation with. These people are getting certain benefits out of the equation and do not have to face the responsibility of a commitment so automatically they don’t want to lose such a jackpot. This type of situation is okay if you’re the one who wants friends with benefits. Here once again, it’s one of the If you are not in for something like that, then we suggest you stop providing any benefits in the hopes that he’ll ask you out and run for the hills.
4. Scared Of Commitment
The easiest way to spot if your partner is scared of commitment is by talking to them about the future. These people will always opt-out of such conversations and will want to table the conversation. Such people will also not be contributing a lot to the dynamic and will want to take things one day at a time.
Anyone who wants to be in a serious relationship with you will want to put a ring on it or show any sort of commitment to you. If they ghost you but also randomly hit you up when they feel like it then it’s a huge sign for you to end the dynamic. But, if you want to make it work then couples therapy or even individual therapy might be helpful.
5. High Insecurity
Any person with elevated insecurity levels is bound to make the bond a living hell for you. These insecurities are fine when they are on a minor level but making the insecurities a part of their personality and imposing them on the relationship can damage any potential relationship as well. A lot of insecure men tend to keep women clouded in a pool of uncertainty with their actions. This will include all those men who don’t want you but can’t bear seeing you with someone else as well. Girl, ditch before you get ditched.
6. You’re Keeping Him Entertained
This is for all those times guys ghost you when you want to reach out but talk to you when they feel like it. Maybe, just maybe you’re a source of entertainment for them. Communication with you helps them get rid of boredom filled days and when they don’t need you around, they don’t hit you up? He likes you enough to talk to you but not enough to ask you out.
7. He Wants It All But Without The Drama
We all that relationships come with a lot attached to them. When you sign up to be with someone, you sign up for all that comes with them, the good and the bad. A lot of men are wary of relationships because they do not want all the drama which is associated with relationships.
The main thing to note here is that not all relationships bombard you with drama so they might have been in such a relationship in their past which has scared them off any future commitments.
Solutions For Such Cases
For all those times when a guy is not clear about his intentions or when you see major signs he is hiding his feelings for you then instead of running away, maybe it’s time to find a solution. Here are some things you can do:
First and foremost, it is crucial to let the other person know what’s going on through your mind. Being an open book in such scenarios can save you from a ton of drama and disappointment. By communicating about the uncertainty in your equation, you will also be better able to get a solid answer instead of extracting out yourself based on his actions, mood, body language, etc. Startup a dialogue and try to get the ball rolling.
The majority of men who have had bitter experiences in their past relationships might not be very interested in jumping into a new relationship. If you like them and think that at some level the feeling is reciprocated as well, then it is smart to give him some time. Let him come into a peaceful state of mind where he can enter into a relationship with you. His jumping from relationship to another can be harmful to you too because if this happens he might bring unresolved trauma and baggage from the previous relationship into yours which is something you don’t want.
This is for all the guys who feel like the men are toying them around. If you think that the relationship has some potential but you are not being taken seriously, then it might be the time to drop an ultimatum and let him know your thoughts. You don’t want to be hanging around for a person who has no value for your time and efforts. Sometimes people need a little push and the ultimatum can be that push to bring the relationship to its initial stage. If the ultimatum works, good for you. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.
The human instinct is very accurate a lot of times. It can be quite offbeat sometimes but most of the time it has proven to be accurate and helpful. If your gut is telling you something, then maybe it’s time you start pondering over it a little. Talk to a friend or get to writing in your diary to get some direction of your thoughts.
Try to understand if he just likes to be around you does he like-like you?
5. Emotional Support
Lastly, one should know that toxic relationships can bruise a person emotionally for a long time. Try to be gentle and calm. Let him know if he has been hurt before then he might be in for something good now. Give him the space to heal from it whilst knowing that they are by their side because you value the equation. Communicate your end and be patient. Maybe he’ll start trusting you not to hurt him.
In the end, we just want you to know that you should always be aware of your worth. You do not want to be a plaything for a guy if you are serious about it. Time to say goodbye to him if you think that he is not being open with you about his intentions and plans to just string you along. Casual dating can be fun for both parties involved if both are looking for the same thing.
If a stable relationship is what you’re hoping for then be sure to communicate with and then choose one of the solutions mentioned above based on whatever his answer is!