There can be many reasons why a guy is not ready to commit to a serious relationship. You have tried everything to make them come out of their cage, but they are not ready to commit. Follow this article to learn why he keeps me around if he doesn’t want a relationship and how you can leave a toxic relationship.
Are you fond of someone who does not want to have any relationship right now? He knows how you feel, but he does not want any relationship with you. You may think, if he is not ready for a commitment then, he should just let you go. But what if he chooses to keep you around. You have tried everything to make them commit to you. You were honest with him about your feelings and you told him directly without hiding behind the bush about your love for him. But he avoids everything in this matter but he is also not ready to part from you.
You do not know what to do anymore. You have tried being open with them, but they are not ready to listen whatsoever. This can ruin your mental and emotional health. This entire situation can make you frustrated and after some time you might feel trapped with him. This whole situation can end up being toxic for you both. If you have an infatuation for someone who is not ready to have a relationship but regardless of his situation, he keeps you around. Then, there is a chance you both might end up being toxic for one another.
Follow this article to explore why he keeps you around if he doesn’t want a relationship and how you can leave a toxic relationship.
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Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?
Things might not be easy for you when you are in love with a guy who does not want a relationship but he is also not ready to let you go. You start to get aggressive and frustrated because of the situation you are in. you may start asking yourself, “why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?” To answer your question, here are some reasons that might help you figure out this entire situation.
- He avoids talking about commitment
- He goes from intense to nothing
- He cancels last minute
- He refuses to meet your family and friends
- He dodge spending too much time with you
- He makes no effort
- You have seen him with other people
- He has been hurt in the past
- He is scared of commitment
- You are always his backup option
- He is afraid of being alone
- He does not want things to change
- He does not want the same things as you
- You provide access to something he likes
- You are his safe zone
- He makes you feel like you are asking too much
He avoids talking about commitment
One of the major signs that he wants no relationship with you is that he avoids talking about being in a relationship whatsoever. Whenever you bring up the subject of you being together with him, they avoid this topic. They always divert the subject and distract you with something else. This shows they are not ready for any commitment whatsoever, they just want you around them.
He goes from intense to nothing:
One minute he is talking to you and listening to you, both of you are enjoying each other’s company. But then, all of a sudden he becomes silent and starts treating you like nothing. Maybe it is a reaction to something you said or maybe you asked them about their future plans. And he knows that his answer is going to hurt you because they do not want to give you any hope.
He cancels last minute:
You make plans with him and he agrees, but when the time comes, he ditches you. He always comes up with ridiculous excuses. At first you might let it go and give them the benefit of the doubt. But it might not be a coincidence that everytime you make a plan, he has some sort of emergency. He might be doing this because they do not want you to be too attached to him.
He refuses to meet your family and friends:
When you love a guy, you would want him to meet your family and friends. But when a guy is not serious about you and he is not looking to be in a serious relationship. Then, he will refuse to meet your friends and family because meeting them will give an impression that you two are romantically involved.
He dodge spending too much time with you:
When you love a guy, you would want him to spend time with you and be there for you. But what if that guy is not looking for a serious relationship and he is just keeping you around then, he will mostly avoid spending too much with you. Because they do not want to be too attached to you. If he would be too close to you then, he thinks that you might start getting more demanding.
He makes no effort:
You have been trying really hard to get him out of this mindset of not being in a relationship. You have been trying your best to make him understand that loving someone is not bad. But it takes two people to make a relationship and he is making no effort whatsoever. Also he is disregarding all of your efforts and now it is getting frustrating for you. You have no idea how to continue living like this, because neither does he make any effort nor does he let you go.
You have seen him with other people:
You do not know what to believe anymore and what to expect because on the surface he might look like he wants no relationship, but time and again you have seen him with other people. And if you ask him about his whereabouts then, he will lie to you saying he is stuck at work and cannot hang out with you today. This makes you feel betrayed because you are trying hard to do something about this entire situation, whereas he has no time for you whatsoever.
He has been hurt in the past:
It is understandable that a guy makes himself emotionally unavailable because he has been hurt in the past. He likes you but his insecurities are coming in front of him again and again. For this reason, it is also hard for him to be in any relationship at all, but he does not want to lose you and wants you around him.
He is scared of commitment:
He is scared of being in a relationship with anyone because he has been badly hurt in the past. He does not trust anyone and he has built walls around himself just so he could protect himself. It is not a bad thing because it is in human nature to defend themselves and protect themselves after they go through something worse.
You are always his backup option:
You are never his priority, rather you are just a backup option. He knows you love him and he knows how much power you are willing to put in. So, he uses your love and kindness for his favor. But whenever he wants to share something with someone and wants to hang out with someone, you are never his first choice. You are like a last resort for him because he knows how to manipulate your feelings and emotions.
He is afraid of being alone:
He has some serious trust issues which are holding him back from being in a relationship with you. But he is also unable to let you go because he is afraid of being alone. He does not want to live in isolation but his mind is not letting him get over his insecurities. It is frustrating and emotionally draining for both of you.
He does not want things to change:
He is the kind of guy who has no interest in being in a romantic relationship, he enjoys being single. But he is also aware of your feelings, so he avoids talking about commitment with you. He does not want anything to change between you two. Maybe he sees you as a friend and does not want to lose you, that is why he is unable to let you go.
He does not want the same things as you:
There is a possibility that he is avoiding being in a relationship with you because you both are completely different and you both want different things in life. Maybe he is not willing to cover that ground and avoids talking to you about relationships at all. He knows how you feel and he does not want to lose you over something like this. This way he avoids being in a relationship and still gets to have you around.
You provide access to something he likes:
There is a high chance that he is only with you because you have something that he wants. Maybe it is your job, your money, or one of your friends. It is possible that he is keeping you around himself only because of his selfish reasons, whilst giving you hope. You listen to everything he says and you do everything he asks you to do just because you love him. You have to understand that he does not love you and he is only keeping you around because he wants something from you.
You are his safe zone:
You are a safe option for him. He knows that you will always be there for him because you have feelings for him. So, he constantly finds himself leaning towards you when something goes wrong. But even if you are there for him and doing everything for him, he will still not commit to you or even let you go.
He makes you feel like you are asking too much:
Whenever you try to have a direct conversation with him about this matter, he will always tell you that he never gave you any hope and he never directly said to you about wanting to be in a relationship. And when you talk to them about it then, they will make you feel like you are asking too much from them.
How can you leave a toxic relationship?
When you have a soft spot for someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you but he also refuses to let you go. This entire situation can make you feel frustrated and aggressive, plus this is extremely toxic for you and your mental health. To get out of this mess you can take help from the following tips.
- Build a support system
- Stay firm with your decision
- Cut off contact
- Unfollow them on social media
- Know that you deserve better
- Surround yourself with positive energy
Build a support system:
You should understand that this entire situation is toxic for you and you have started losing contact with your friends and family. You have to build your support system and go back to the people who actually love you and who are always there for you. If someone is not valuing your efforts then, it is best if you let them go and surround yourself with people who can do anything for you.
Stay firm with your decision:
You might want to go back to him because you love him so much, but you have to realize that he will never love you like you do. If you go back to him, you will go back to the same toxic environment which you left. He never changed for you and if you go back to him now then, he will continue treating you the same old way. Avoid this and stand firm on your decision.
Cut off contact:
It will be best for you if you cut off contact with him. By doing this, you will be able to avoid anything that might tempt you to go back to them. It is natural for you to try to talk to him because you had feelings for him for a long time, and feelings do not disappear overnight. So, it will be better if you block them and cut contact with him to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Unfollow them on social media:
Blocking his number is not enough, you have to cut off contact with him on every platform. Unfollow them from every social media, it might feel unnecessary to you but it is important. It will help you overcome your feelings a little too quickly. It will also help you avoid giving into any sort of temptation of looking at his social media and watching him have fun.
Know that you deserve better:
You have spent a significant amount of time going after him and making efforts that he simply ignored. Now it is high time that you do something for yourself, you must understand that you deserve so much better than this. Going after him only made you feel frustrated and emotionally drained because neither he accepted your relationship nor did he let you go. He was just dragging you along, but now you must realize your worth and move away from this situation as soon as possible.
Surround yourself with positive energy:
For a long time you have let him bring negative energy into your life. He made you feel like you were asking too much from him, he made you feel worthless whenever you saw him with other people enjoying his time and you knew he lied to you, and he made you feel frustrated when he would not let you go even after saying again and again that he wants to have no relationship. After everything, you must realize that it is not your fault and surround yourself with positive energy. Keep yourself engaged with things that you like and make yourself independent.
Conclusion:
If you are in love with someone who is not up for a relationship but is not letting you go either then, it can be extremely draining for you both emotionally and mentally. You know that he will never accept your relationship but you are still trying in the hope that maybe someday he will change his mind and be more open with you. But deep down you know that he is never going to change because he avoids even having a one-on-one conversation with you about this matter and if you ask him directly then, he will make you feel as if you are asking way too much from him.
You must realize that this is not a healthy relationship. This is a one sided relationship where you are making all the efforts and he is just disregarding them all. It will make you feel worthless, hopeless, and it ruins your mental health. You have no idea what to do because he is not letting you go and keeps you around and doesn’t even want a relationship. In a situation like this, it is to come head to head with the fact that he might never change and this can go on forever. You must cut contact with him and stand firm on your decision. It is easier said than done but, once you understand that you deserve so much better than this then, you will be able to fight for yourself.
