Has a special someone taken over your thoughts? And now you want to know if the connection is mutual or not. However, it’s not easy to tell that when you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too? This article might make things easier for you, so don’t think any further and read this article to get all your answers regarding mutual connection.
Feeling a connection with someone can be quite elating, but we all know the cherry on the cake is when they share the same feelings for you. But since we aren’t transparent, nor can we read minds (which we all deeply wish we could), finding out someone else’s feelings towards you is not easy. This game of guessing if there is a connection can become even more complicated if the other person is quite inscrutable.
Intimacy can be considered the heart of all sorts of human connections. After all, it’s not every day that we feel like we are connected to someone in a metaphysical way. These sorts of connections happen when we get to know someone deeply, intellectually, or spiritually.
When that happens, you can become quite eager to know if when you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too. In this article, we go over some of the signs to know if the connection is strong at both ends or not, and if God forbid it’s not, then we have some tips on how to get over someone when the connection is not mutual. So read on to find your answers.
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How can a mutual connection between two people be defined?
Defining a mutual connection with someone might seem straightforward, as the term itself is quite clear. However, to give you a deeper understanding, we’ll provide a brief description of what it means to share a connection with someone.
Imagine feeling a strong affinity with someone because you can relate to many of their habits and feelings. Or wanting to keep talking to them because your heart won’t let you let go, as you both share such good chemistry that it’s impossible to ignore. Or trying to focus on work but finding it difficult because all you can think about is that specific person.
These are signs of having feelings for someone. When both of you share these feelings, you have a mutual connection. It can be challenging to determine if the person you feel connected to shares the same sentiments. This uncertainty can be frustrating, as you might be head over heels about the connection but unsure if they feel the same way.
Approaching them directly and confessing, “I feel we have a connection,” can be embarrassing, especially if they don’t reciprocate. To save you from potential embarrassment, we’ve put together this article to help you figure out if the person you feel connected to shares those feelings.
When you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too?
If you want to know that when you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too, you’ll need to understand many aspects attached to a mutual connection. It can be quite exhilarating when you get that signal that you are connected to someone; you might feel as if you are on cloud nine and have the entire world at your feet. But at the same time, you know that it’s only you that you can be certain about regarding if there is a connection or not, and you can’t have much of an idea of what the other person feels.
This feeling of being in love or being “connected” can leave you in a state of utter confusion because, as we discussed earlier, intimacy is the heart of human connection, and we strive for it in one way or another, whether its a connection between you and your pet rabbit or if it’s your new colleague in your office that you can’t stop thinking about.
The age we live in is when we are extremely connected to one another through some sort of digital connection. The world, as the word suggests, is a global village. We can get access to anyone’s personal life at just the tap of a button.
We can get to know their hobbies, their likes and dislikes, everything through the art of internet stalking. We might have just been chatting with the person online, yet we could feel the connection. But the real question is that when you feel a connection with someone do they feel it too?
This entire connection fiasco may leave us wondering if wouldn’t it be amazing if we could just jump in and talk to each other on chat and just create that instant connection. But in general, that “connection” is created when we have created a certain bond with that person, and that bond is built when there is trust and an authentic connection between the two.
So what’s the verdict for when you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too?
The quick answer to whether they can feel a mutual connection or not is that yes, it can most definitely happen. But the chances are quite rare. In order for two people to feel that instant connection that resonates at both ends, both people need to be really innate and share a serious blend of chemistry with one another, good enough that they can read each other’s minds, feel each other’s emotions and understand each other’s motives on a deep level.
However, that fantasy of both of you feeling that connection simultaneously may not always come true because you both might not be compatible with each other in terms of personality, and since you are so blinded by the connection, you might not be able to see it, but the other person might do. But there is always a possibility that the cupid struck you both, and there might, in fact, be a connection that resonates between the both of you.
But for this to happen, you both would have to make an effort to connect with one another and take your time in building that relationship so that you both can have a healthy relationship. Keep in mind that most of the time, when we feel that connection, we are using our intuition and not focussing on solid reasoning. So the possibility of both of you feeling that connection in the same way, is quite difficult; thus, you might want to stay grounded for a while.
Does a mutual connection always mean love?
To tell if a mutual connection means love or not, we need to dive into psychological research. As per psychological research, when people plausibly connect with someone, there is a high chance that the other person feels that too. But the catch here is that you might feel like there is a connection, but this connection doesn’t necessarily have to be love. However, the chances are that you people connect as friends and might find it fun to hang out with one another.
If you are into this person romantically and can’t stand being just friends, then a good idea could be to join an online community or club where you can share your interests with one another. As there will be other people that share the same interests as you, there is a high chance that they realize that there is something special between the two of you that can’t be shared with anyone else. They might even try dating you afterward to give your connection a shot.
There is another relationship theory that suggests people highly rely on their intuition, and when they feel that there is some sort of connection between two people, they think that they are meant to be soul mates. They even start considering a long-term connection, potentially even getting married to one another.
But on the contrary, the same study suggests that there is another group of people with a different mindset that believes that in order for a relationship to be successful and for them to be in love, they need to put in the time and effort. This theory is well known as the “Work-it-out theory”.
However, we can not definitely say that any sort of connection or mindset behind that connection can ensure that the connection is love and meant to stay put forever. Because time and time again, we have seen that people who thought they had found their soulmates for life would end up getting divorced after sharing a long time together.
On the contrary, there are some who actually find a lifelong relationship. So we can’t say, after finding a mutual connection, that it always has to be love and will end up in marriage. It could just be a friendly connection or love you’ll have to figure it out.
Why would there not be a mutual connection?
You might wonder: Why wouldn’t there be an instant mutual connection if we like each other and get along well? It’s important to distinguish between a superficial connection and a genuine, deep relationship. For the latter, both parties must be highly intuitive and empathetic.
This may be hard to accept, but there’s an explanation: When the other person doesn’t feel the same connection you do, it’s often because your brain combines all the sensory information and data you’ve gathered about them. If you’ve ever fallen in love, whether with a person, a pet, or something you were spiritually attached to, you might understand this well.
Patience is usually required. Depending on the situation, one person may need more time to embrace this intense connection. “Surrender” is an appropriate term because that’s essentially what’s happening. Being deeply connected to someone requires a level of vulnerability that not everyone is ready for, where you experience each other’s emotions and understand each other fundamentally.
This vulnerability involves not only surrendering to the other person but also to oneself. It can bring to the surface many things one has been consciously or unconsciously suppressing.
Not everyone is willing to face their issues. Some people find it challenging to confront their past. Consequently, what might seem like a lack of connection is often a reluctance to accept the vulnerability that comes with a deep, meaningful relationship.
What are some of the signs of mutual connection?
If you want to find out if there is a mutual connection between you both or not, you will have to watch out for a few signs to determine if the person you like feels the same way about you. Some of these things are inclined to point towards a mutual attraction rather than to deep connections, but in the end, a mutual attraction forms the cornerstone of any relationship.
- There’s reciprocation
- The eye contact gives it away
- Your conversations are never boring
- You are accustomed to them
- You learn so much from them whenever you hang out with them
- You are not afraid to tell them anything private
- They introduce you to parts of yourself you never knew were there
- They are engraved into your mind forever
- You both fit perfectly, just like the pieces of a puzzle
- Zero competition. Zero jealousy
- You feel comfortable showing them the real you
- You both respect each other
- You are taking part in their lives
1. There’s reciprocation
Experts on mental health and relationship problems claim that reciprocity is one of the greatest and most significant indicators of a connection with someone. Reciprocity, for instance, would include sharing conversational contributions equally. They respond to your queries, so the interaction is not one-sided. Simply put, you receive equal amounts of what you provide, whether those are
- Questions
- Flirting
- Planning dates
- Talking
- Messaging
It turns out that the likelihood of your connection being mutual is good if the effort is fairly balanced. Think of it this way if you like someone and feel there is something between both of you, it is highly likely that you are going to want to talk to them more. You’ll respond to all their queries, want to plan dates with them and whatnot. So if someone feels that there is a connection, then they are going to most probably reciprocate your energy and make sure they are making you a priority.
2. The eye contact gives it away
Do you ever give someone you really admire that look? That’s definitely one of the clearest signs as to whether or not they share your connection with you. If someone is feeling connected to you, they’ll probably look at you in a way like no one ever did, and you’ll catch the fact that they also feel that connection instantly.
3. Your conversations are never boring
When you hang out with them, “Uhm…” and awkward silences do not characterize your conversions. Even if you are meeting for the first time, one thing you will notice is how easy it is for you to start and maintain discussions flawlessly. You don’t have to force it because there are always more interesting topics to talk about every time you get together.
4. You are accustomed to them
For some reason, every time you’re around them, you feel like you’re tuned into their mental frequency. A deep connection to someone you hardly know is frequently defined by an enhanced capacity to understand their nonverbal signs. You can tell when they are happy, unhappy, furious, or satisfied with something. It is even easier to get along with them with this mental connection.
5. You learn so much from them whenever you hang out with them
Even when they don’t want to teach you anything, you wind up learning a lot from them. Every time you hang out, you are exposed to new experiences, both big and tiny. You may notice that you are becoming much better at table etiquette, being more careful of your surroundings, and becoming more observant to thank others when they do you small favors or any other lifestyle adjustment. When you take the time to assess what’s going on, you’ll be able to trace it back to your time with them.
6. You are not afraid to tell them anything private
Something about them relaxes you and makes you want to tell them everything that is going on in your life. Even if you were previously secretive, you might find yourself relaxing and confiding in them as time passes. When you have an unexplained connection with someone, the fear of letting them inside your head diminishes significantly.
7. They introduce you to parts of yourself you never knew were there
Until you experience an unexplainable connection with someone and they take you on a pleasant day out to the beach, you could believe you are an introverted person. When someone forces you to start over and relearn who you are, that is one of the telltale signals that you are deeply connected to them.
It can be a little challenging to view yourself from diverse perspectives when you are by yourself. But when this person enters the picture, you start to discover a lot about your anxieties, your strengths, your triggers, your goals and objectives, and the things in life that make you happy. One of the first things you would notice about them is that every moment you spend with them becomes an intensive opportunity for personal growth.
8. They are engraved into your mind forever
The fact is, not everyone with whom you have an instant connection will remain in your life indefinitely. Sometimes the unavoidable separation is the product of life’s events and not their fault. Regardless, when you have an unexplained connection with someone, you know you will remember them for the rest of your life – regardless of what happens.
Even if life throws you in opposing directions, you will always remember them and the amazing time you had together. However, if the connection was mutual, you may rest assured that they aren’t ready to forget you either.
9. You both fit perfectly; just like the pieces of a puzzle
Everyone thinks they are complete in themselves until they meet that individual who enters their lives and suddenly makes them realize that they aren’t as complete as they may have imagined. One of the first things you would notice about someone when you have an unexplainable connection to them is how they complete you.
They are excellent at the skills you lack, thoroughly comprehend your requirements, and have a similar level of sensitivity to you as you do to them. You’ll notice that you start to balance each other out as you spend more time together. They act as the water to your flame, and you act as the Yin to their Yang in return.
10. Zero competition. Zero jealousy
Along with all the other indicators we’ve already covered, one more piece of evidence that you have an unexplained connection with someone is when you realize you don’t want to compete with them. This goes beyond merely being confident in who you are and where your life is going. The sense of security that comes from being with them is more important.
You will find yourself genuinely rooting for someone when you share that divine connection. This automatically removes the propensity to feel envious of them or to unwisely try to compete with them. You are continually reminded that happiness and success aren’t mutually exclusive and that you may both achieve success, be content in your relationship, and yet lead fulfilling lives.
11. You feel comfortable showing them the real you
People have a propensity to immediately put their best foot forward. Most people pay great attention to how they act when they meet new people in an effort to impress them and have them view them favorably.
On the other hand, you feel at ease with someone right away when you connect with them in an indescribable way. The need to impress them, and perhaps even compromise your authenticity—flies out the window.
12. You both respect each other
Every partnership will fall apart without mutual respect. Having a great deal of regard for someone, though, is one of the indications that you two connect in an incomprehensible way. You treat people equally and put aside your personal prejudices.
Their want to be with you increases. As a result, it strengthens your bond. As a result of how you feel while you are together, you end up in a cycle of love, respect for one another, and want for more quality time spent together.
13. You are taking part in their lives
An indication that the connection is strengthening is when you start to become more involved in their life. This is due to the fact that if they do not feel a strong connection to you, they will not allow you to become a significant part of their lives.
And occasionally, the rate at which this occurs can be startling. When you first meet them, you are already an important part of their lives—not because you forced your way in, but because they embraced you totally and opened their arms to you.
What should you do when you get to know it’s a mutual connection?
Once you learn if the connection is mutual or not, you’ll need to wrap your head around a few things, like finding out if they have the same opinion of you as you do and taking steps to enforce that knowledge.
Finding out is one thing; acting on that knowledge is quite another. Say something like, “I feel extremely worried about this, but I like you a lot and was wondering if you’d want to have dinner,” when you’re feeling hesitant about approaching someone or making a move. This will help you to confront your shyness and make your connection obvious.
By communicating your feelings to them, you can both reassure them and relieve your own tension. They’re probably nervous as well. By the way, this also applies if you’re already seeing them. Be truthful and forthright about your emotions.
If you’re feeling shy, tell them that “I’m shy, and this is making me incredibly scared, but I have a really deep connection with you, and I was wondering whether you feel the same.” If they have the same feelings, this will be incredibly appealing to them. If all of that sounds too overwhelming, you can make a less direct suggestion of what you want to express.
How can you intensify the connection when you feel it’s mutual?
There are a few things you can attempt if you want to slightly increase the feeling of attraction and connection between the both of you. According to our research, concentrating on the following will encourage the other person to open up and give in to the connection.
- Try using open body language, as body language is one of the best ways to express the connection you both have. Turn to face them, imitate some of their gestures, and avoid crossing your arms. Body language can be more attractive than a person’s hairdo, clothing, or makeup ever could be, as you would notice.
- Look into their eyes. Although it may feel awkward at first, being the first to show that you are “vulnerable” might also encourage your partner to let down their guard.
- Show them the genuine you; after all, it is pointless to pretend to be someone you are not if you want people to adore you for who you are as a person.
How to get over someone when the connection is not mutual?
There are a few steps you’ll need to take in order to get over someone you were sure of having a connection with. You might be aware that some of us may have experienced a situation where we were willing to give everything for a person with whom we felt a connection, but they just did not reciprocate, and even worse, they didn’t even feel that there was a connection, to begin with.
Such experiences can be different for different people. Some people might have experienced it before getting close to that person. Some might have been told the devastating news after getting into a relationship that “there is no connection between us.” This revelation might have come as a huge blow to you that someone you couldn’t stop thinking of day and night, a person that you felt you had a connection with like no other, feels that there isn’t anything between you both.
Accepting that someone feels the connection is absent is difficult but accepting the fact that there isn’t going to be anything between the two of you and moving on is the most difficult thing to do as you are accepting the fact that it’s the end and there is no hope for you both afterward.
But keep in mind that this step defines your power in the ability to take the first step and move on. By moving on, you are taking control of your emotions and taking back your emotional energy from a place where it is not appreciated or required. Another thing you would want to keep a focus on is that you can’t force a connection if it’s not there; you’ll have to accept it.
- The first step: stepping away from that person
- Second step: understand that it will take time
- Third step: find out about your own hobbies and passions.
- Fourth step: make use of the knowledge gained
The first step: stepping away from that person
The first step toward progress is to literally take the first step away from this person. Perhaps in trying to pursue your connection, you’ve become pals with them, and they’re attempting to be friends. Or maybe you people have started dating, and they have the impression that they are only casually dating you and passing the time when you are looking for something far more serious as you think there is a connection between you two.
Whatever the circumstances, allowing the cycle to continue would simply serve as a persistent reminder of a future that will never be. Time spent with this person will also highlight the qualities you believed would be present in the ideal connection. You’ll be reminded of the connection with them every time they hug a child, kiss a puppy, watch a movie you love, or grab a book you were inclined to but then you’ll have to accept it’s not happening.
This is especially important at the time when they have come clear that they don’t feel anything. People who continue to talk or spend time together tend to postpone the inevitable and make the final goodbye even more difficult when the time comes. Sure, it’s tempting to see what would happen if you remain close to them, but we must realize that this is not always possible and that the story must end on whatever note it is on.
Second step: understand that it will take time
Moving on from someone you thought would be forever because you saw a connection can be quite hard, and the amount of time depends on how long you’ve been trying to pursue them or have been thinking about them.
If you never truly dated and yet really liked the person, moving ahead should be much easier than in a long-term relationship. But, notwithstanding, feelings don’t just vanish unless they weren’t real, to begin with. It’s crucial to accept this and give oneself time and space to grieve the “loss.” So many individuals either:
- Make an effort to find someone new right away.
- Permit themselves to wallow in self-pity for far too long, failing to adequately process their feelings and, as a result, unable to effectively move past them.
Feelings wax and wane throughout time, just as they do when they first begin to form. There may occasionally be a faint vapor of them left over, and that’s alright too. This vapor might stick around for a while as you thought there was a connection between the two of you. And when there is intimacy on that level, things take time to settle down. So don’t panic and let time do its healing.
Third step: find out about your own hobbies and passions.
In order to get over someone you felt a connection with, you’ll need to find some hobbies and passions. Similar to quitting a terrible habit, if you only get rid of it, another one will probably take its place. It’s up to you whether or not anything else is a healthy influence rather than another destructive one.
It’s crucial to use this chance to reflect deeply on who you are as a person and to discover your personal hobbies and interests. Because previously, you’ve been so involved in this person and tried to develop that connection that you probably forgot that there exists a world outside of them.
When people sense a connection, and they really want to make it happen, they tend to make that specific person with whom they sense a connection with their entire world. Oddly that person would encompass all aspects of their lives, and they would make that person the center of their world. When you try to force a connection, you just put all your energy into that, and in the midst of it all, people tend to forget that they have a life of their own.
Building the life you wish to live involves many different aspects. First of all, it enables you to remain content and joyful regardless of your romantic state. Secondly, it places you in the appropriate situations and with the right people, increasing your chances of meeting the perfect person. Using this time to concentrate on yourself is a win-win, no matter how you look at it, because now you are going to focus on the connection with yourself rather than with someone else.
Fourth step: make use of the knowledge gained
Now that you’ve completed some important steps for how to get over someone when the connection is not mutual. Congratulations! You’ve moved on and believe that you are once more emotionally free of any connection! Let’s now take steps to prevent it from happening again. It’s simple to ignore cautionary signals and red flags when we’re overcome with emotional attachment over a “potential connection.”
Because we are so enthused about this new person and their “potential” to be a wonderful companion, we often find justifications for bad behavior or simply put up with less than we deserve. We might ignore them, trying to let go of a conversation that we are deeply involved in. or might let go of the fact that they completely ignored us on the lift when we said hello to them.
Take some time to think about the things you could have missed now that your vision is clear once more. Perhaps your friends or relatives tried to warn you, but you disregarded their advice, and it ended up being a really bad idea. What did they observe that you did not? What aspects of a partner and a relationship are genuinely essential to you? Your requirements as well as your wants.
The secret to upholding your standards and limits at the time you see a connection happening is to take the time to describe these things and create a compelling picture of the person and the connection you wish to attract. When you notice the warning flags early on, it will be a lot simpler to let someone go and move on if they aren’t what (or who) you actually wanted in a person you connect with.
Conclusion
Everyone experiences moments of interpersonal connection. No matter how tenuous the connection may be, we quickly sense it when we meet someone new. And that prompts a lot of self-doubts and queries, like: Do they also feel a connection with you when you feel one?
But the reality is that such a feeling of kinship between two people is inexplicable. It only occurs organically and is instinctively felt. It gets more challenging the more you try to understand it. You can’t force a connection that isn’t bound to happen. Always keep in mind that you are deserving of the love you are prepared to extend to others. Anything less is inadmissible. Once you realize you would start attracting people, you genuinely have a connection with.
