We all understand how supreme physical compatibility is when it comes to marriage. Sexual intimacy with your partner can make your relationship stronger. Follow this article to know about what you can do to save your sexless marriage without cheating and how you can know when to walk away from sexless marriage.
Sex is a way of showing your love towards your partner, it is a way of communication, and it can strengthen the relationship between two people. But what if because of some reason you are not able to have sex with your partner? Especially when the damage is new and before that you and your partner were sexually active. When something like this takes place it can be strenuous for both the partners. Being in a sexless marriage can lead to misunderstandings and fights between the couple.
When you are stuck in a sexless marriage, there is a probability you might be able to survive it for some time but it can get excessively strenuous for both you and your partner. You will constantly misunderstand each and everything the other person does. The constant frustration and agitation will lead towards a weak connection. Sex in a marriage is paramount because it makes both the partner’s feel wanted and loved. Without sex your relationship will slowly start to drift apart.
Follow this article to know more about what you can do to save your sexless marriage without cheating and how you can know when to walk away from sexless marriage.
Table of Contents
Why is sex paramount for marriage?
Intimacy in any form will always make your marriage stronger. We all understand that sex can make a marriage bond stronger and both the partner’s feel loved and appreciated. Following are some of the reasons why sex is excessively paramount for marriage.
- Makes you feel wanted
- It forms an emotional connection
- It keeps your marriage fresh
- Relieves tension
- Makes you more committed
Makes you feel wanted:
Sex in marriage is supreme because it makes both the partner’s feel wanted. Your self esteem will never be low knowing that your partner wants you and desires you. It will be the best feeling in the world. Having sex in your marriage will make your bond stronger and you will feel attracted towards each other more than before.
It forms an emotional connection:
Emotional connection is excessively paramount in a marriage and sex ensures this connection. When a couple have sex in their marriage, they form a special bond of trust, love, and care. These elements form an emotional connection between the two people. Sex is a way of showing love and care towards each other and it makes marriage stronger.
It keeps your marriage fresh:
Having sex in a marriage will keep the spark alive and it will make you desire your partner. You both will feel attracted towards one another and it will make your relationship more stable and healthy. It will make you desire each other like you are still a newly wedded couple and your bond will continue to grow stronger.
Relieves tension:
For every relationship, whether it is marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, it is paramount to create a work – life balance. It is supreme that both the partner’s take time out for each other. When you are married, sex will be your way of showing your appreciation towards your partner also, it will help you relieve tension. The oxytocin hormone that is released when you are having sex will make you feel relaxed and stress free.
Makes you more committed:
When you still desire your partner and you two are sexually active then, you will be more committed in your marriage. You will try to surprise each other, this way you will be able to keep your marriage fresh. But this is only possible when you know that your partner loves and desires you.
What can you do to save your sexless marriage without cheating?
If by any chance, you find yourself stuck in a sexless marriage then, things can get excessively strenuous for you. You understand that cheating on your partner is not who you are but things are getting tough for you with each moment. Following are some things you can try to save your sexless marriage without cheating.
- Communicate with each other
- Focus on other things
- Mindfulness
- Try to resolve conflict
- Gratitude
- Take baby steps
- Practice romance
- Consider marriage counseling
Communicate with each other:
In any relationship, communication will make things easy for you and your partner. According to marriage counselors, one of the main issues between married couples is their inability to have a stable conversation with each other. It is paramount for you to have a detailed conversation with your partner about the intimacy issues that you have been having with each other. Having a conversation is better than creating negative scenarios in your head. A conversation will keep you away from stress and depression.
Focus on other things:
When you are having intimacy issues and your marriage is now sexless but you want to survive your marriage and make it work because you love your partner then, you can try to focus on things that you two would enjoy together. Talk about things that you both are passionate about, go on adventures together, and create new memories with each other. Sex is a way of showing your love towards your partner, but it is not the only way.
Mindfulness:
You can try mindfulness through meditation. This way you will be fit to acknowledge your problems and not feel guilty about it. Mindfulness will aid you by making your brain stay in the present and not think about your past or worry about your future. Whenever you think about the sex problems in your marriage, there is nothing to feel guilty about. You are a human and you cannot suppress your emotions and desires, what you can do is not let those thoughts negatively affect you. Go out for fresh air and gain control back of your emotions by practicing mindfulness.
Try to resolve conflict:
It is natural to feel frustrated when you are in a sexless marriage, you and your partner will have conflicts even on small things because of that frustration. The most supreme thing for you to do is try and resolve conflict with your partner. Do not prolong it, it will cause further problems in your relationship. Have a conversation with your partner, listen to what they have to say, and share your point of view with them. This will resolve misunderstandings in your marriage.
Gratitude:
The most supreme thing in any relationship is for you to be grateful and acknowledge your blessings. Even though you are in a sexless marriage, your partner is understanding and they try to resolve conflict with you before things get worse. Your partner cares about you and respects your emotions and desires. These are things that you should be grateful for and you should also try to understand their position and listen to what they have to say.
Take baby steps:
Being in a sexless marriage can be excessively strenuous for you and for your partner. The constant fights will start to drift you apart from your partner. To avoid that, you can take some baby steps, like going on romantic dates, having late night conversations with each other, doing a movie marathon, going camping together, and going on long drives with each other. These are small things that will bring you close to each other and once you start doing these activities together, you will develop a habit and this will bring you and your partner a lot closer than before.
Practice romance:
Romance is paramount to keep your relationship alive and fresh. Going on dates, surprising each other with their favorite things, or making your partner’s favorite food. These things will let them know their importance in your heart and romantic moments like these will help you survive your marriage. Creating romantic moments together will help you and your partner come closer and you will be able to make new memories together.
Consider marriage counseling:
The best and the most clever way to deal with problems in your marriage is through marriage counseling. It will always result in your favor, you and your partner will be able to talk about your problems and get expert advice on your intimacy issues. Your conversation will be unofficial and you will not have to worry about a third person finding out about it.
How can you know when to walk away from sexless marriage?
Being in a sexless marriage is not a piece of cake, it can get excessively strenuous for you. You will fall into anxiety and depression and constant fighting will make you frustrated and stressed all the time. There is a probability that you will try to work on your marriage but as the time goes by, it can become strenuous for you to do so. Following are some ways through which you can know when to walk away from sexless marriage.
- There is no communication between you two
- Therapy failed
- Non intimacy issues
- Trying to use sex as a power
- Resentment
- Personality changes in your partner
- Your partner cheated on you
- There is no love
- Your part is not willing to do anything
- You are getting attracted to others
There is no communication between you two:
We all understand the importance of communication in a relationship, especially in marriage. When your marriage is going through strenuous times, the most paramount thing is communication. If you are stuck in a sexless marriage then and there is no communication from you or your partner then, your marriage has an excessively low chance of survival. When you are not telling your partner what you want or when you are not ready to listen to what they have to say then, your relationship with them will go haywire.
Therapy failed:
You tried taking therapy with your partner but it never worked for your marriage. Even after taking marriage counseling, your partner is not doing anything to save this marriage then, it is an indication that it is time for you to walk away from this marriage. Failed therapy shows that your partner is not willing to change their ways even after openly knowing about the intimacy issues you both are facing in your marriage.
Non intimacy issues:
Sexless marriage is just a little problem, it is a facade for you two to hide behind. The actual problem is something entirely different. Maybe you are facing financial problems, you two are not emotionally supportive, or there is another issue. These issues can make you lose interest in one another and if your partner is not willing to work on these issues then, it is time for you to walk away from your marriage.
Trying to use sex as a power:
When your partner is not having sex with you just because you are not agreeing with something then, you have to understand that it is a toxic move and your partner is trying to use sex to gain power over you. They are trying to withhold intimacy with you so they can guilt you into agreeing with them.
The most clever thing to do in a situation like this is to walk away as soon as you can because your partner is looking for ways to gain power over you and he is using sex as a way to manipulate you. This will be the first step of manipulation and if you do not do something to defend yourself then, it will just keep on growing.
Resentment:
When you are in a sexless marriage then, it is natural for you to get frustrated over little things. This is because you two are getting detached and you feel angry towards your partner. This frustration will lead towards resentment. You will start getting annoyed with your partner and you will try to get out of their company as soon as you can. This is an indication that you need to walk out of this marriage before you start hurting each other in the worst ways possible.
Personality changes in your partner:
If you are trying to make your marriage work but you can clearly see that your partner is not even doing half of his part and you notice visible changes in their personality then, it is best to step away from the marriage. You alone cannot fight for this marriage. Your partner is now changing, he is not the same person you fell for, he is getting detached, he holds resentment, and you can feel him falling out of love with you.
Your partner cheated on you:
Cheating on your partner is a deal breaker in any relationship. When you are in a sexless marriage and you are trying your best to survive, but your partner goes around cheating on you then, there is no point for you to fight for your marriage. This is a clear indication for you to walk away from the marriage because your partner has no respect for you and if he cheated on you once, he will do it again.
There is no love:
While being stuck in a sexless marriage, you realize that your conflicts, frustration, and resentment have made the love from your marriage disappear. You two avoid each other and what once was a healthy relationship, now feels like a burden that you two cannot wait to get rid of. There is no love left in your marriage and it will be best for you and your partner to walk out of this marriage.
Your partner is not willing to do anything:
It is unfortunate that you are stuck in a sexless marriage but to top that when your partner is not even willing to do anything to save this marriage then, it is a clear indication of walking out. You cannot do everything alone to save your marriage, your partner is also responsible. If he/she is not willing to do anything then, it is a toxic behavior and you need to get away from this toxicity as far as you can.
You are attracted to others:
When you are in a sexless marriage, there is a probability you will feel attracted towards other guys. When something like this takes place, it is an indication that you do not feel desire and attraction towards your husband/wife and before you make any mistake, it is best to part your ways before you hurt the other person.
Conclusion:
Sex is paramount in marriage, it is a way of showing your love and desire towards your partner. It makes you feel wanted in your marriage and it boosts your self esteem. But when you are in a sexless marriage then, you will feel unwanted and frustrated. This frustration will lead towards conflict and resentment. You and your partner will start avoiding each other. This is because you do not want to fight anymore with your partner, you avoid them and create space between you two.
When something like this takes place and no one is ready to do anything to save the marriage then, the best idea is to part ways with each other. The longer you stay with each other, the more you are going to hurt each other. You are stuck in a sexless marriage but you feel attracted towards other people, this shows that you have fallen out of love with your partner. In that case, there is nothing you can do to save this marriage, you have to walk away from your sexless marriage.
