Relationships can be pretty tricky but it is important to know where you stand with people and with your lovers, past or present. A lot of times, people tend to get confused about how they are feeling. There is a lot of uncertainty and ambiguity in the air when it comes to this issue. People often either tend to feel bad, guilty or confused about these feelings for their past lovers.
With relationships being a tricky road to navigate, we know how hard it can be to come across genuine advice to help you. This is why we have curated this guide to help with some basic questions like can you fall back in love after a breakup, what to do when you’re still in love with your ex, etc.
Table of Contents
How Do You Know If You Still Love Your Ex?
Love is a beautiful feeling but relationships ending can be a soul-crushing thing that can happen to a person/. The whole time when one is trying to get over a relationship which ended can be quite challenging. A lot of times you might not be the one who finished and ended things. At the start of such a time, a lot of people find that they are still in love with their ex. This is why the question “is it normal to still love my ex?” is asked ever so often.
We know how hard it can be to move on, especially when you have to do it forcefully. It is also completely normal for feelings to come back. If you are worried that you might still be in love with your ex, then it might be the time for some serious self-evaluation.
To do this self-evaluation, you might have to look for these red flags in yourself if you feel like you do most of these things then know that you cleared the do I still love my ex quiz.
1. Stalking
In this digital age, stalking is done through social media. If you feel like you are constantly obsessing over their social media apps then you might be in foursome trouble. It is okay to check up on them the first few days but checking their profiles and social media status a while after your break is a huge red flag.
A lot of times we can come across their profile and take a tour to see what’s going on but that is okay since it’s just curiosity. Keeping a check on them religiously will just show that you are still not over them. Wondering how do you know if you still love your ex? Well, stalking can be the number one sign you should look for.
2. Comparison
The next major red flag is comparison. This takes place when you have a new partner in the picture. Having someone new is good but only if you truly love them and are not just looking for a replacement for your ex. P[eople who find themselves still in love with their exes have seen that they tend to compare every little thing of their old partner with their new partner.
This is wrong for everyone. You are doing wrong to yourself by not letting yourself move on and you are doing wrong to your current partner by being in a relationship with them halfheartedly.
3. You Don’t Want To Get Better
This is an important one. A lot of times when we break up with someone or when a relationship comes to an end, it is understandable if we go to a dark place. But staying in it for a long while after it happened can be devastating for you. When in a relationship, we are so intertwined with our partner it can get difficult to know who we are. Once broken up, you should take it as an opportunity to try to work on yourself and find out your true self which might’ve gotten lost in the way.
You can work on yourself in a million ways which can be positive for your body and soul while it can also help channel all that energy in a positive manner. If you find that you cannot focus on anything for a huge period of time and just want to sit and wallow or make things worse for yourself then you might still be in love with your ex.
4. You Don’t Blame Them
This is a very easy one and can be found in people who recently broke up with their partners or got dumped. Feeling confused and sad in this period is okay but a lot of people turn to blame themselves. This self-deprecatory behavior just means that you are not holding them responsible for their actions.
If you feel any sort of guilt when you’ve done nothing wrong or if you still feel like you have feelings for them which are stopping you from moving on then it is a red flag of you still loving them and not being able to blame them even if they were in the wrong.
5. Keeping Objects
A huge one to look out for is if you are hoarding their things. A lot of people who go to therapists and professionals for help after breakups and deaths are told to get rid of the stuff that belonged to their partner. The reason for doing this is because constantly finding things that belonged to their partner or gifts from them can remind a person of what they had and what they lost.
This constant reminder can prove to be a huge hurdle in the road of getting over them. There is nothing wrong with keeping their stuff but make sure that it’s for the right reasons. If you are keeping their stuff and gifts just because they were a part of your life and your history then it’s fine. But keeping them, taking out, and using them ever so often can create yearning. If you are keeping them because it helps you feel like they’re around then you might want to think about it a little.
6. You’re Keeping Tabs On Them
Similar to stalking, this one is also wrong and a huge indication that you are not over them as of yet. Keeping tabs can be done in a variety of ways and some might get illegal if you are not careful about what you are doing.stalking their workplace, home or places they liked in order to bump in on them can be slightly creepy and majorly wrong.
Keeping tabs is also done through friends. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while then you might know some people who are on good terms with the both of you. After a break up if you are bothering the friend repeatedly to get updates on your ex’s life or to keep tabs then you have the answer to can you fall back in love after a breakup.
7. You Think They’re The One
The last and the most damaging one is if you think they’re still the none for you. Know that if they are out of your life then there might be something that took you to the point of breaking up. Breaking up and going your separate ways might be a good thing for both of you. Don’t hang all your hopes on the same person even after they’ve left your life.
If you are going into a new relationship, be sure that you are doing it with your complete heart. Doing it health heartedly while you still have feelings for someone else will be unfair to the next person. Know that some things have a certain life. Your old relationship and your previous partner might not have been all that you think. The loss can be fooling you into thinking that there is nothing better for you out there, but that is not the truth.
What To Do When You’re Still In Love With Your Ex?
We’ve had people question us a couple of times about the reason behind them still loving their exes. This one time, one of our audience wanted an answer to the question “why do i still love my ex after 2 years?” Now we know that two years is a really long time. If you have been pining over the same person for this long amount of time then it might be an indication that you still haven’t moved on!
Moving on from your previous lover can be a difficult ordeal to go through but it is absolutely necessary if one wants to progress in life without the feeling of loss burdening them. So enough of lounging around in your pajamas, eating tubs of ice cream, we know how hard it can be but know that you’re going to thank us in some time. To help you in your dilemma pof what to do when you’re still in love with your ex, we have made a list of things you can do to move on forward.
1. Get Some Closure
This is probably the most important and the most basic thing you need to be aware of if you want to move on smoothly. Closure is the understanding of the reason behind a relationship falling apart. These reasons can then help one digest the situation and move onto better and healthier relationships in their future without any hurdles of the previous one.
The tricky part is that closure is not something you can command from someone or get at the flick of a finger. Each person deals with closure in a different way. If you are on talking terms with your ex then we suggest that you sit down with them once and talk it out. This is the easiest way to find out the reason behind the relationship ending. You should be able to talk to them in a manner so as to figure out why it happened without wanting to find a solution. You can also obtain closure by talking full responsibility if you were at fault. Try to work on yourself and learn from your mistakes to move on easily.
2. No More Contact
After you’ve talked it out and obtained your answers, you need to take several steps back from the equation. Remove yourself from the equation and try to cut them off. Do this for the initial period when you’ve recently broken up. If friendship is something that’s meant to be, it will come your way again. Do not think that agreeing to stay friends is going to make you look mature. What’s maturity is realising that your personal and emotional growth is important.
Dont ghost them or cut them off rudely. Have a conversation with them and let them know that you want some time and space to yourself. You can tell them that being in contact with them can be overwhelming or hard for you and you have to distance yourself to heal.
3. Get Rid Of Memories
This one can take an emotional toll on you but it is crucial if you want to truly get over that phase of your life. Keeping things around yourself that were given to you by your ex por that remind you of them can make it very difficult for you to move on peace. Know that there is nothing bitter or petty about not wanting to get constant reminders of them
You can either choose to return them or if they do not want it then you can simply donate it. This is the safest and the nicest possible way to proceed with getting rid of belongings. Throwing out letters and other personal objects is important to eradicate any triggers.
4. Surround Yourself With Loved Ones
Often when we are in a dark place in our lives, we tend to close off. This is done sometimes both figuratively and literally. Do not make yourself go through this self sabotage mission. There might be times when you would feel like taking a long break from your family and friends and just stay alone holed up in a room. Do not give in to these desires.
Call up your friends and arrange time and places to meet them. Letting people know that you are going through a hard time does not make you weak. It makes you human. Realise that it is completely okay to spend some time with them and laugh a little. You do not have to feel any guilt about being around people or staying out. Don’t worry that you will make others sad or dampen the evening. When someone loves you, they are going to want you through the hard times. Accept their help and their love.
5. Busy Yourself
Find positive areas of life where you can channel your energy and invest in them. This can be a great time to polish that skill or learn a new one if that’s what you want. When in a relationship, people often tend to get distracted and forget to take some time out for themselves. Use this time to work in your favour.
Find new hobbies or go out and try that new cafe you’ve been wanting to go for so long. Maybe watch a movie alone. You’ll be surprised at how liberating it can feel to do things by yourself. Busy yourself but in a non destructive manner. Have some time for self evaluation and make sure that you are not distracting yourself but instead enjoying yourself.
6. Acknowledge Your Feelings
You should know that this healing process isn’t going to be easy. Accept your feelings and acknowledge then. When you end a relationship with someone you love, the love doesnt just vanish in the air. It can take some time for you to totally get over it. It is very normal to love them for some time after the break up.
Use this feeling of love and channel it in a positive way. You can turn this love into compassion and empathy for them. When you really love someone, it can take a toll on you if you have to be seperated from them. Learn to realise that somethings in life are just not meant to be and maybe this was one of them. Don’t close yourself off to any future endeavours that might come your way but also do not hang on this love as the only one.
7. Give It Some Time
Time truly is the best healer out of all. You will not wake up one day with no feelings for them. It will take some time. It is completely understandable if you want to get done with the pain and the misery but that is something which you cannot force. It’s going to come to you naturally and gradually. Be patient with your heart and let it heal at its own pace. Do not forcefully try to unlove someone because that has never happened and will just lead you in a deeper pit of misery.
Conclusion
Sometimes you might find yourself at a point where you will be questioned: can you fall back in love after a breakup? A lot of times this question is just a mixture of uncertainty and sadness. You need to realise that the relationship came to a half because of some reasons. Know that life has a lot to offer and if something wasn’t meant to be yours then there is no power in the entire universe that can get it for you.
Take the good memories you got from the relationship and cherish them. As for the bad ones, take them as a lesson and move forward in life with your head held high.
