How Long To Wait Before Having Sex In A New Relationship?

Having sex in a relationship is very personal, as no set frame is appropriate for all. Every couple faces the questions of how long to wait before having sex in a new relationship and how long dates are before intimacy; keep reading to find some satisfying answers.

Sexual compatibility varies from person to person; some want an early physical connection, and some want to wait unless they develop a deeper emotional connection. It is impossible to imagine a love relationship between a man and woman without sex; however, people seek the right time to get into it.

It is crucial to honestly communicate your boundaries, desires, and expectations regarding sexual activities. No one wants to scare away a potential partner by delaying intimacy, nor do they wish to be taken advantage of by someone who only seeks casual encounters.

The secret of seduction is the right timing, and milestones often mark the relationship. Intimacy and seduction games vary from person to person; sometimes, they keep their milestones even in the first meeting, and sometimes, people wait long term to hit the milestones.

Every new couple wants to know how many dates before intimacy, as it is a big worry for them whether they are moving fast or too slow to get physical. The answer could be complicated as the time of getting intimate could vary from a few days to a few months, depending on the time spent together.

How many dates before intimacy?

There is no universal answer to how many dates before going to his place; still, you must explore the question from all angles. Men usually do not care much about this; they are in a winning position and try to get the number count higher.

Ment point of view on the time limit could be completely different, even among them, depending on their age, experience, and first date outcome. Some believe that intimacy took place even from the moment of acquaintances and very early sex encounters without making sense of any relationship.

Apart from being judgemental, we believe that such people who haste in getting physical keep women in two categories:

  • For sex
  • For relations.

Statistics of getting intimate on the first date

According to a study, 46 percent of men had sex on their first date, whereas 33 percent of women claim the same. We can not rely on such studies or surveys as being a very private thing, and most people lie about it. Another study conducted in the UK found that 56 percent of women engaged in sexual activity on their first date.

Even getting physical on their first date, many individuals end up in a proper relationship. According to a report in the United States, around 95 percent (we expect more) of individuals had sex before marriage.

Having sex at the first date

People believe that if partners have enough romantic feelings and passion, they do not need preparation for getting physical for so long. Being a human, you must have instincts; being intimate rather than pushing each other is necessary. While we can not predict the outcomes of every relationship, it is essential to consider various options before making important decisions.

The first date is ordinarily significant for every individual, especially for females. In this contemporary era, everybody has the right to choose whatever they feel is better for them, and nobody has the right to judge her at all, whether she wants to get physical on the very first date.

It’s a girl’s choice if she believes in love after her first physical connection. Nobody can dictate to her; she is her own judge and knows perfectly what she is up to. In the orthodox and patriarchal community, men usually have mixed feelings about having sex on the first date. In this hypocritical society, men and some typical women do not appreciate such courageous women.

Life comes with many exceptions, such as accidental sex can bring partners together for a long time and have long-lasting effects on people’s lives. However, this is not obvious in every case.

Three date rule

If you are an adult, you must be aware of the three date rule, in which professionals advise people to wait for the third date to get physical. However, three date rule too has some pros and cons:

Sexual stereotype

People have a typical mindset of not having sex on their very first day as it is not a lady-like rule, as there is a sex-negative standard for women. Sexist society does not allow girls to get physical on their first date, although it involves both adults with their consent.

Being adults, both partners have the right to do things according to their needs and consent, whether they do it after one minute or one year.

It gives time to access

The three-date rule has the benefit of making you wait. Sometimes you feel the next person is great on the first night, but later on, it could be disastrous in the long run. An unavoidable wait will make you understand the person and situation as well.

Giving up autonomy

Sticking to a three-date rule can make you feel unnatural while giving up on your autonomy. The choice of having sex varies from person to person; you may like to get physical with someone even on the first date and wait for the fifth date with the other one.

It’s the 21st century, and one has the right to call the shots for their body; nobody can judge them. People can decide what they want based on their circumstances; one can change their mind anywhere.

Provides a roadmap

Some people appreciate the three-date rule as it provides them with a dating structure. This structure will help you decide quickly; you and your partner know which framework to follow. It is a self-imposed boundary for both; you can hang out easily without stress.

Three months of courtship

A cautious lady will make a man wait for at least two-three months to check him out in detail. It is a test, and if a man withstands it, the woman will surely appreciate him as an intimate person.

Women usually analyze men by applying the three months of courtship rule, as if a man remained in a relationship without sex for 2-3 months, he is firmly in love with you and can wait for the right time.

If a man wants a short affair, or time passes, or he wants sex without continuation, they will never wait this long. Meanwhile, they can find another object if they are after you for fun purposes.

Thirty-six hours for the foreplay

Typically, psychologists say that the intense attraction may fade after a month or so. Various surveys were conducted to prove the point that sexual desire gradually decreases as time passes by, and in most cases, it is true.

Many professionals suggest spending at least thirty-six hours together before getting physical. It only needs some time together in a row. It may include some mini-dates or a weekend together.

The formula

Assume that you have to wait at least ten dates. One needs to answer specific questions and then add or subtract time accordingly.

Have you guys ever met each other’s friends?

No=add five dates

If someone likes you, they want you to introduce them to your friends, as they need reassurance from them. They want to show off and get approval from trustworthy people that they are fantastic.

If your partner is reluctant to show you even his closest circle, they want to hide you, or there could be various reasons behind this strategy. Maybe they are possessive about you; they may not have any friends, or they may not be proud of you.

There could be various reasons behind such fishy behavior; maybe they want you to keep it as their best secret, or you wait for some days to reveal the answer in secrecy.

Are you both on the same page and looking for the same type of relationship?

Yes=Subtract two dates

Communicate openly about your relationship, as mismatched expectations cause hurt in the end. Sometimes you find someone very charming and expect a serious relationship with them.

They might be finding something else, and you are up to something else, and it is becoming so intolerable for them that they back off. Such behavior could be a significant setback for your emotions, and you feel a massive waste of time and emotions.

To find out the intentions of the next person, you need to wait for the right time as one can not ask for it too soon, and you need a little time to spend. A month of spending time together could be the correct answer to spend time together, and then ask him about himself and the future.

If you figure out that both of you are moving aimlessly, it is just a time pass or animal fling desire. In comparison, if you are both looking for a serious relationship and want to settle down, ensure you are on the same page before you end up in the same bed.

Can you easily discuss contraception?

No=add three dates

Initially, you may not be comfortable discussing contraception, but if it is on your list, wait for the right time. How can you use it together if you are uncomfortable talking about it? Wait to get physical when you can easily talk about everything.

Practicing safe sex is essential whether pregnancy is not a risk as it can also avoid any Sexually Transmitted disease. Wait until you both are ready for sexual health screening. Knowing each other well enough to discuss any topic without hesitation is better.

Is your partner happy about waiting?

Yes=subtract one date

In some people, sexual chemistry is intoxicating and urgent; however, you should make physical contact under pressure. Or no need to get pressurized whether your partner will lose interest in you if you both are not physical yet.

Early dating is all about compatibility and spending time outside the bedroom while knowing about each other more and more. Moving slowly with vigilance is a sign that your partner is taking you seriously and genuinely interested in you as a person.

Do you feel exclusive?

No=Wait until you are

Online dating and easy access to various people create many opportunities to find new partners. But a lot of everything could be worse and can steal exclusiveness, and people usually play the field unless they find something special.

Someone lining up a few dates may find the right one for them, and even people browse many dating sites and many people simultaneously. Only get into physical things if you agree to not seeing other people and admit you have found the exclusive one.

Keep a vigilant eye that someone is not dodging you, as it would not be a safe place to put your emotions.

How many dates before spending the night?

The world of dating does not work anymore without getting physical. However, dating and sex become more complicated with time, sex and relationships are more complicated, and people want to know about the meetings before getting physical.

One must consider the following things before jumping into bed:

  • Sexual Health
  • Ready for the potential consequences
  • Consent of intimacy
  • Use of contraception
  • Knowledge of your partner
  • Comfort with the physical intimacy
  • Location of meeting
  • Following religious beliefs
  • Gut feelings
  • Delay in getting intimate encounter
  • Do not confuse sexual chemistry
  • Won’t end up looking desperate
  • Avoid any emotional risk
  • A better picture of future
  • Trust development
  • The foundation of a long-term relationship

Sexual Health

In a world of chaos, one must focus on mental health in the very first place. Be sure about safe sex without transmitting any sexual disease. Ask yourself whether you feel safe and comfortable physically with a specific guy.

Check your mental health and whether you will be fine after being intimate with anyone. Ask yourself if you can handle sleeping with someone if it turns into a one-night stand.

Ready for the potential consequences

Sex always comes with consequences, whether better or worse; one can get pregnant or catch STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection), or sometimes you may badly fall for your partner who does not have the same intentions.

All these uncomfortable or unexpected consequences may enhance your stress level and likelihood and disturb many things. Before choosing a physical connection, make up your mind for any result that can hinder your goals.

Consent of intimacy

You both discussed verbally having intimate moments, as it is an objective matter, and one can not imply it to others. Before getting into bed with someone, authorization is essential, focusing on two-factor authentication.

Despite your gender, do not make assumptions, and be safe rather than sorry. Check on the age of the next person. If you sleep with an underage person, you will be guilty of statutory rape under jurisdictions.

Use of contraception

Protection must be a top priority without any gender difference. It should be OK to discuss using condoms, diaphragm, or birth control pills. Think about your safety by yourself, do not expect the next person to arrange it, and always be prepared.

Knowledge of your partner

It is primitive to know whom you consider intimate; do you know them well? You know exactly who they are, is it safe to be with them, or can you trust them?

They might be the culprit for recording sex tapes or discussing your physical intimacy with your friends. Focus on the quality of a person before getting intimate.

Comfort with the physical intimacy

Know what kind of intimacy you can enjoy, whether you are traditional or made with aids. Before you commence any intimate relationship, discuss the type of sex you like and make appropriate purchases.

Location of meeting

Decide the place, whether it is their place or yours, and if they choose the location, whether it is comfortable for you. Do you plan to leave right away or expect something to create intimacy?

Set the expectations if you want to sleep or need some time. Be prepared whether you wish to have a quick conversation or want to spend some intimate moments.

Following religious beliefs

If someone has religious beliefs, how do you deal with their faith, and how to deal with a central idea of their belief system? Decide according to your choices whether you both agreed on getting physical or want to stick to yourself, as it is your life, and you are the sole person to decide.

Gut feelings

Honor your feelings and instincts, as they have considerable control over your emotions and mental well-being. Listen to it if you feel there is some catch or it needs to be a proper fit. If one-night stands can improve your stress level, choose what suits you.

Delay in getting intimate encounter

Do not rush things if you are planning a passionate and intimate encounter. It takes time to build emotions, trust, and emotional connections; the primary focus should not be intercourse.

Sexual satisfaction needs connections, not orgasms. If both partners are on the same page and feel some deeper connection, there is no hurdle to delay them, in case you can give it all up even on the first date.

We suggest a quality time before intercourse as togetherness strengthens their bond and builds more profound levels. To create some memorable time, take some time to build intimacy and chemistry with each other.

Do not confuse sexual chemistry

There could be some sexual drive that creates affection for someone, and people confuse it with love at first sight. It is always great to feel attraction for someone; there would be some extra activity of hormones.

Rushing into things due to some spark on a first date does not mean he is the right person for you. Only get involved so much that if he is working on some other plan, it makes you feel bad. For the time being, attraction can never compensate for compatibility.

Won’t end up looking desperate

Make sure that any move should not be under any cynical notion, and do not expect much from the other person. Women usually think about intimacy before sex, whereas men go vice versa.

Tell the other person how to feel about your emotional and physical desires, so you can determine whether he will stay in the game. Typically, people sleep with each other instead of discussing sex implications without knowing where they stand.

Avoid any emotional risk

Being physical is not a for-granted thing; one must take it seriously. It could result in a life-changing drama and may leave a mark for the rest of your life. Apart from performing safe sex, but still psychological damage when the next person is not on the same page.

Unexpected and rushy intercourse can damage you emotionally and psychologically. It is better to put up a few more dates to analyze precisely what the next person is. One date is not enough to know about someone and does not guarantee any relationship, so we will not encourage you to get over-excited in such a short tenure.

When there is an established connection, and you can count on a bit of the other person, then you can have intercourse with convenience.

A better picture of future

Not having sex can not stop you from talking about it, which will help to explore sexual inclinations and fantasies. This behavior will help you to be confident about your body and experience various styles without feeling awkward.

Frankness is fun; you can apply various techniques and laugh about it. A particular time will help to understand the personality of the next person and will help to create a more memorable time together, which would be a foundation for several dates.

Meanwhile, both persons in a relationship will figure out what they want; this will help you to know when a man waits to sleep with you. Explore each other’s feelings and mindset before exploring each other’s bodies.

Let the sex be a pure sense of understanding, and sleep with your desired man when you want it.

Trust development

Waiting for the right time will help you decide whether to trust them. Getting physical with someone will put you in a vulnerable situation; therefore, be confident about the person before jumping into bed with them.

One should not rush into any relationship. Laying a solid foundation will make you undergo some adventures. Trusting someone can take a lot of time, and it could be more potent by that time.

Sex and trust are interrelated, as sexual pleasure comes with a feeling of security and out of love. By that time, you won’t have the fear that person might leave you.

The foundation of a long-term relationship

People can lie, even do anything to get laid, but ghost you after achieving the goal. If you get over such a situation, it’s excellent, but if you believe in a committed relationship, wait for the commitment before getting under the sheets.

The first date usually decides whether you want to walk along. Many people do things off the record and seek affection, protection, and love in intercourse. We believe that physical intimacy is natural and must assure love and commitment.

We are not animals who can not control our desires and urges and fall for candid relationships.

How many dates before the kiss?

If someone waits for the right time to kiss for the first time in their relationship, they usually seek silly questions to choose the ultimate kiss. However, there is no particular time for such things, but still, there are a few ways to determine the right time.

  • Expect a kiss within the first three dates
  • Kiss when you feel the right moment
  • Notice body language
  • Wait for an intimate moment in a private place
  • Lean in to test the waters
  • Communicate to tell them directly

Expect a kiss within the first three dates

If you feel romantic after getting to know the person, seeing the compatibility before kissing is better. Some people want to kiss immediately after their first date without knowing each other, and some wait for the right time.

It is normal if someone wants to wait longer to kiss someone due to different values and beliefs. If you sure like the person, there is nothing wrong with kissing on a first date.

Kiss when you feel the right moment

Avoid creating some specific time for the first kiss; you will start feeling slightly anxious while waiting. Relax, breathe, feel the romantic spark, and make it a fun time. Only lean for kissing when you feel a little connection.

On the other hand, there could be a chance that the next person is not ready for kissing if they pull away, stop, and apologize. Now wait for the next person to make the first move.

Notice body language

Watch how your dates act around you and give you any signals. If there is a lot of eye contact and showing with their actions, they are into you. Especially if they are looking at your lips, it is a sure sign they want a move.

Wait for an intimate moment at a private place

A little privacy will always make you feel special to create intimate moments. In public, kissing someone could be quite uncomfortable; therefore, step over to a more private place to create some intimate moments.

One can enjoy the moment if no one is disturbing them. For instance, even at a party, take some minutes and go out for some time.

Lean in to test the waters

As you start leaning in, it is evident to the other person you want to kiss them. Initiate the move, and let the next person take the movement and feel the moment.

If the other person is not interested, they will lean away or tell you they are not ready for any such thing. It is nothing to discourage waiting for the right time.

Communicate to tell them directly

Be confident enough to tell the next person about your intentions. If you are passionate about the other person, there is no need to show aggression; tell them exactly how you feel. Make your head clear, but it should still be the next person’s choice if they want to kiss you.


There is no hard and fast rule about how long to wait before having sex in a new relationship, but the main focus is getting to know each other until you feel it right. Significantly, the women who want a committed relationship instead of a casual fling.

There are no specific rules or signs written on stones predicting any best time for how long and when a man waits to sleep with you, it depends on your choices and options. However, a perfect thing to know how many dates before intimacy could be when you and your partner are ready.

In conclusion, before jumping into a sex trip, review the pros, cons, and various aspects to avoid heartbreaks and disappointments. Additionally, it facilitates relationship success. Several dates have no criterion which defines sex in a relationship; still, we believe our thoughts have given you enough reasons to hold on.

Society has become more accepting of casual sex, and deciding to wait for several dates before becoming intimate is a personal choice. Do what feels best: get physical on the first date or wait for the tenth one. We suggest staying safe and acting within the boundaries.