Dating a widower can have its own ups and downs. It is not easy for a widower to be in a committed relationship when they have lost someone they loved dearly. Follow this article to learn more about the 5 signs a widower is serious about your relationship and what problems you might face when dating a widower.
Every relationship has ups and downs, no relationship is perfect. It is the effort that makes a relationship worth it. But in some cases, being in a relationship is a huge deal. Especially when someone has already lost a person they loved dearly then, it could be extremely hard for them to fall in love again. It takes a lot of determination to get out in the world and try to have another chance at love.
When you are dating a widower then, you might have to be cautious. First and foremost you must not rush them into anything. Just being in a relationship after everything is already hard for them, you should be understanding about the entire situation and do not pressurize them for anything.
Follow this article to explore more about the 5 signs a widower is serious about your relationship and what problems you might face when dating a widower.
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What are the 5 signs a widower is serious about your relationship?
It is possible for a human to fall in love again, there is no such thing that a person cannot love again. Though it may be hard for a person to fall in love again, especially after losing someone they loved dearly. Being in a relationship with a widower can be hard, you might question if they are ever going to move on from their past or not. That does not mean they will never be able to move on from their past and love someone else. Following are the 5 signs a widower is serious about your relationship.
- He is openly talking about his future with you
- He still talks about his wife, but it is not affecting your relationship now.
- He starts introducing you to his family and friends
- He is interested in your life
- His action speak louder than his words
He is openly talking about his future with you:
When a widower is openly talking about his future plans with you, this means he trusts you and he sees his future with you. He shares his plans with you, asks for your opinion, and talks to you about the major changes in his life. When this happens then, it is a sign that he is starting to move on from his loss and he is looking forward to his life and he sees his future with you which is why he is able to talk about his future with you.
He still talks about his wife, but it is not affecting your relationship now:
Moving on with your life is not easy after losing a loved one. But we all have to move on someday, we all have to move on with our lives. If you are in a relationship with a widower then you might question yourself if your relationship is heading somewhere or not. A major sign to know if a widower is serious about your relationship is when he talks about his wife but it is not affecting your relationship. He is sharing his feelings with you but he also has regard for your feelings.
He starts introducing you to his family and friends:
Another major sign is that he introduces you to his family and friends. This means he is ready for everyone to know that you two are together. He is comfortable accepting his new relationship and there is no guilt behind those feelings. He wants you to know his inner circle and his life. He wants his parents to know about you and wants his friends to be your friends. This shows his feelings towards you.
He is interested in your life:
He is genuinely interested in your life and wants to be a part of your life. He wants to know what is going on in your life and what are your future plans. He wants to meet your friends and shows genuine interest when you talk about work. This is a major sign that he is serious about his relationship with you and he is showing his interest in your relationship.
His action speaks louder than his words:
In any relationship it is important for both the partners to show each other what their relationship means to them. So, when he is trying to be his best version for you and he is trying not to repeat his mistakes then, you know that he is serious about this relationship and wants you to be a part of his life. It is supreme for you to know that his actions are matching his words or not, it will not be a healthy and stable relationship if you are only making all the efforts.
What problems you might face when dating a widower?
Every relationship has ups and downs, no relationship is perfect and flawless. It is supreme for both the partners to accept each other with their flaws and work together to make their relationship healthy and stable. When dating a widower, a person might face many problems which can be challenging for your relationship. Following are some problems a person might face when dating a widower.
- They are still grieving
- There is a chance that you are a rebound relationship for them
- There is no open communication between you two
- You think you are not good enough
- They are always talking about their deceased partner
- Even his friends and family cannot help but compare you with the deceased
- They are not over their ex
- They feel guilty when they are having fun with you
- There will be triggers
- You might feel like he is not 100% committed in this relationship
They are still grieving:
When a person loses their loved ones then, it is natural for them to grieve. When you are dating a widower, you must be prepared for all of this. You must understand that it will not be easy for them to move on with their life and it certainly will not be easy for you. Time and again, you would feel like maybe you should give up, but when you really love someone you would be there for them in their good times and their bad times.
There is a chance that you are a rebound relationship for them:
There is a possibility that the widower thinks of you as a rebound and nothing more. He considers this relationship a rebound relationship whereas you are serious about them and this relationship. This can be a major problem for you when you are dating a widower.
There is no open communication between you two:
It is not easy for them to have a heart to heart conversation with someone about their feelings and emotions. They have isolated themselves after the death of their partner. This isolation is not letting them have an open conversation with you. You have been trying hard for them to open up to you, but the more you try the more they retreat back.
You think you are not good enough:
Time and again, you might feel like you are just not good enough for them. When you see them still grieving over the loss of their wife and you are not able to have an open conversation with them then, you will feel like you are not good enough for them and they will never see you in a different light. You will feel like they only see you as a friend and nothing more. This can be devastating for you.
They are always talking about their deceased partner:
This is one of the vital problems of dating a widower, they will always bring up their deceased partner into the conversation. You do not have any problem with that but when you are constantly hearing another name from your partner, you feel like you are never going to be adequate enough for them to talk about you. You will think that maybe he will never show interest in you and he will never care about me.
Even his friends and family cannot help but compare you with the deceased:
Even his family and his friends compare you with the deceased. Maybe they do not do it deliberately but that comparison is enough to make you feel worse about yourself. This comparison will make you start questioning your relationship with him. You will feel like no matter what you do, no matter how good you are with his friends and family, you are never going to be good enough for them and for him.
They are not over their ex:
When a person is still not over their ex partner then, it will be extremely hard for their current partner to enjoy their relationship and to have a healthy relationship. It is not a stable relationship when one person is constantly thinking and talking about their ex. If they are still talking and grieving about their ex then, you will not be able to have a stable and healthy relationship.
They feel guilty when they are having fun with you:
Whenever you two are doing something together or having fun with each other, suddenly they will start to go quiet and feel guilty about enjoying their time. In their mind, they have established that if they will try to have fun or move on with their life then, they are betraying their ex partner. They will start to feel guilty and suddenly they will go quiet and isolate themselves.
There will be triggers:
You must understand that there are going to be triggers for your partner. Like they would still be in touch with the deceased’s family or they would still have their pictures. These things will trigger their grove and love for them. Even if you change something around the house, it might trigger their anger because they would feel like you are trying to erase them.
You might feel like he is not 100% committed in this relationship:
When you are dating a widower then, there is a possibility that you might think your partner is not 100% committed in this relationship. It may be because he still talks about his ex and his parents are always comparing you with the deceased. Your partner feels guilty when he is trying to move on with his life. These things will make you feel like he is not 100% committed in this relationship.
What are the dos and don’ts of being in a relationship with a widower?
There are many things that you need to keep in mind when you are dating a widower. But the most supreme thing is to understand that your partner is going to talk about his ex wife and he is not deliberately trying to compare you with her. He talks about her because he wants to share his feelings with you. Following are some dos and don’ts of being in a relationship with a widower that you need to keep in mind.
| Dos | Don’ts |
| Be a good listener. Let him share his feelings with you, this will encourage him to have a heart to heart conversation with you. | Do not force him for anything. Listen to what he has to say, do not force him to talk to you. This will only make him run away from you. |
| Understand that he is not wrong if he thinks about his dead wife, he does that because he loved her dearly. You have to be there for him and help him move on with his life. | Do not try to erase his dead wife’s memory in order for him to move on. This will only make him think negatively about you. |
| It is best if you take things slow and do not rush into anything when dating a widower. | When you force them to be in a relationship with you and you rush things then, there is a chance that your relationship will not be stable because they will never be completely over their ex wife. |
| It is best if you do not have high expectations from him considering he is still grieving over the loss of his ex wife. | If you expect too much from them and they are not able to fulfill those expectations then, you will feel worse and this will not lead to a healthy and stable relationship. |
| Make your own place in his heart. Be your true self around him. | Do not try to take his wife’s place. This will make you a second choice, a replacement. Create your own identity and make your own place in his heart. |
| Stay happy and content in your life. Be the best version of yourself around him. Make him understand that there is more to life. Help him get out of isolation. | Do not feel insecure if you see any picture or video of his ex wife on his mobile. He is not wrong to have them. This shows that he is a caring and loving person who just lost his love and partner. Do not feel insecure and try to remove those. |
| It is important for you to give him his space and let him do things on their own accord. | Do not invade his personal space. Give him some privacy and let him come out of his shell. |
Conclusion:
Being in a relationship with a widower is not easy, it might be more tough than any other relationship. Every relationship has ups and downs, no relationship is perfect. It is the people and their efforts that make a relationship worth fighting for. So, when you are in a relationship with a widower you must understand that it is not easy for them to simply start dating again. You must respect their feelings and emotions and let them grieve for the deceased.
If you are in a relationship with a widower then, there are some visible signs if your relationship is progressing or not. It is important for you to have an open conversation with your partner otherwise your relationship will never be stable. One of the major signs that a widower is serious about your relationship is that they start to open up to you, they are able to share their feelings and emotions with you. This shows that they are able to trust again and their actions are speaking louder than their words.
