Sleeping like a starfish. I think we’ve all been there. You’re alone in bed, you stretch out your arms, and you fall asleep JUST LIKE THAT. Cats do it. Babies do it. It’s amazing.
Then comes a time where you fall in love (or in lust) and you want to allow someone else in your bed. Now what do you do? Spend many sleepless nights just staring at the wall listening to your partner snoring in bed?
I know for my husband and I, it took a long time before we both we able to get good sleep together.
It’s not just us plebians that are interested in how people sleep. Researchers around the world are interested in how we sleep by ourselves and with partners.
What follows are a few suggestions about how to finally get some sleep, even when your partner sleeps like a starfish. Yes, a sexy starfish, but one you have to sleep with.
Merle Oberon and Melvin Douglas – Via
1. Sleep in Separate Beds
A favorite of old-time movies and older couples, sleeping in separate beds is a legitimate option. According to Dr. Paul Rosenblatt, a professor at the University of Minnesota:
“With older couples, sex is often in the past, snoring is a problem, plus they’re going to the bathroom multiple times a night… Lots of older couples end up not wanting to share a bed.”
A survey of 1,192 people from MyVoucherCodes.co.uk has found that 1 in 10 couples who live together sleep separately. For many, snoring, sickness, and different sleeping times mean that couples sleep apart.
While you might get better sleep, there are often consequences for the relationship. Two thirds of those who sleep separately felt it negatively impacted their relationship. For those people, 51% said that it made them feel distant from their partner and 42% said it impacted their sex life.
2. Sleep Head to Toe
Okay — so no one does this but awkward teenagers who don’t want to sleep together. But it could work! You’d both have room to hug your pillow and spread out.
3. Own a Big Enough Bed So You Can Both Sleep Like A Starfish
My husband is 6 foot 4 inches tall, and we have a queen-sized bed. When we stay at hotels and get to stay in a luxurious kind-sized bed, it feels A-MAZ-ING. You can snuggle, get a kiss, and then slide over and get some sleep when it’s time. With a large, spacious bed, you both can sleep like a starfish.
4. Let A Limb Hang Off the Bed
The position in the photograph above looks really uncomfortable, but it does bring another idea forward. If you slide your bed out from the wall a bit, you can leave an arm or leg off the bed and make the bed feel bigger. According to Dr. Chris Idzikowski of Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service, distinguished in part for coining the term “starfish”, most of us like to have one arm or leg out from other the covers anyways.
5. Make Them Squish Their Arms Just A Little Bit
I have a feeling this one’s a common one. At least my cousin who recently moved in her boyfriend has tried it out. In her words:
“I sleep like a log and make him squish over.”
As Helene Emsellen of the Center for Sleep & Wake Disorders, located in Washington, D.C. says:
“If you’re young and madly in love, it’s a little easier to put up with things.”
Amen to that! I only try this when my husband falls asleep before me smack in the middle of the bed. I’m sure you’ve been there.
6. Rotate
This is clever. According to relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet, couples that sleep back to back but touching are comfortable, intimate, and relaxed with other.
7. Curl Up On Your Partner
Despite the prominence of this position in Hollywood movies, only 1% of couples prefer to sleep with the woman on the man’s chest. This pose is normally only adopted by new couples in love. It might be romantic, but for my husband, any movement wakes us both up. My verdict? Sounds nice, but not practical.
8. Let Them Throw Their Arm Over You
Apparently, some people sleep like this, though I’d think I’d feel suffocated if I was on the bottom. The photo above is from Ted Spagna, a photographer created the book SLEEP, who started in 1975 taking pictures of all kinds people, from babies to children to couples, at sleep.
9. Scoot Up High
How to effectively pack objects into space is a hard problem. Even scientists and mathematicians spend a lot of time on the most efficient packing.
This position takes a creative approach, using the whole bed by having one partner sleep higher than the other on the bed.
10. Sleep Under Your Partner’s Armpit
I saved the best for last. Well, if not the best, it’s my personal favorite. My partner, as the taller person, often sleeps like the man in the photo and I sleep in the lower half of the bed.
I know. It seems strange. Who likes the idea of an armpit? But if the person on the lower half of the bed scoots down and places the pillow between their head and their partner’s arm, there’s no armpit in sight.
It means I get to sleep like a starfish too! What’s better than that?
Remember, whatever you’re sleeping arrangements, it’s probably better more spacious and comfy than this:
Sweet dreams, my fellow starfish.
