Rejection can be hard for people both emotionally and mentally. They might start holding grudges against you. So, it may be hard for you if you do not want to hang out with them. Follow this article to learn more about how to tell someone you don’t want to hang out and signs you should not hang out with someone.
There are times when you do not want to hang out with someone. Sometimes your reason is completely personal and sometimes you do not think that someone is a great influence on you. To avoid any argument or any conflict, you simply steer clear of them and keep them at an arm’s length. You give them subtle signs about how you are tired or how you are busy with something else. All of this is to make sure they say no themselves so you do not have to do it.
There is no simple way to let someone know that you do not want to hang out with them. You have to be graceful while you are letting them know about your thoughts. You cannot just drop this on them all of a sudden that you do not want to hang out with them, this might negatively affect their self esteem and they can go into isolation.
Follow this article and explore how to tell someone you don’t want to hang out and signs you should not hang out with someone.
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How to tell someone you don’t want to hang out?
If you ever face a situation where you do not want to hang out with someone, but you have no idea how to tell them then, following are some tips on how to tell someone you don’t want to hang out. These tips will help you in getting out of a situation where you do not know how to handle the other person.
- Understand why you find it difficult to say no
- Make your “no” clear
- Be honest
- Be ready with a counter offer
- You are not responsible for other’s feelings
- Only give them a reason if you want them to ask you again
- Manage your guilt
- Let the other person know your decision as soon as possible
- Do not give into pressure
- Avoid giving details for your reason
- Invite them less
Understand why you find it difficult to say no:
You have to understand why you find it so difficult to say no to them. You have to examine their behavior, you have to understand whether they will be angry, sad, depressed, or revengeful. You have to understand what kind of a person you are dealing with before you make your move.
Make your “no” clear:
You have to be clear with your answer. Do not hide behind the bush and never delay your answer. If you have made up your mind that you are going to finally say no to them then, make sure that you say it clearly without going into too much detail. It will be good for you both because then, they will not have to expect anything from you and you will not feel guilty about sharing your thoughts with them.
Do not lie to them about anything and tell them whatever you are feeling. Being straightforward with them is the best thing you can do. Tell them honestly about your issues and share your feelings with them, listen to their opinions. This will clear the air between you two and it will also save you from getting into any kind of conflict.
Be ready with a counter offer:
If you do not want to lose them as a friend and the reason for you not hanging out with them is something personal like you are busy or you are dealing with something at home then, you can give them a counter offer. You can suggest some alternate day where you both are free and you can hang out with them, this will help you get out of that temporary situation.
You are not responsible for other’s feelings:
You have to understand that you are not responsible for how they react to your statement. It is natural for them to feel hurt and disappointed, so do not take this personally and drown yourself in guilt. What you can do is be honest with them and tell them honestly about how you feel. If you were honest about your feelings then, you do not have to feel responsible for their feelings.
Only give them a reason if you want them to ask you again:
Avoid going into too much detail if you do not want to hang around with them for a long period of time. Be honest with them about your reason but do not give them too much detail. The more detail you give, the more they will act defensive and this can start a conflict. Only give them a reason if you want them to ask you again and if you do not want to lose them as a friend.
Manage your guilt:
It is natural for you to feel guilty after seeing them hurt and you might want to give up and hang out with them. But you should remember that this is not a good thing for you both. You are hanging out with them just because you are feeling guilty, which is not a good thing. So, to avoid any of this you must learn to manage your guilt and think before you do anything.
Let the other person know your decision as soon as possible:
It is best for you and the other person if you let them know how you feel as soon as possible. If you keep on dragging this matter then, the end result can be more unpleasant for you. So, to avoid dealing with negative consequences, you should let them know your decision immediately. Do not drag this matter further if you want to continue at least a civil relationship with them.
Do not give into pressure:
Never give into pressure and go back to your words. It is natural that you will have second thoughts about your decision when you see them hurt and sad, but you must understand that this sadness will only be there temporarily. If you start to hang out with them just because you are guilty then, you both will be a part of a loveless and one sided friendship. This is not good for you both.
Avoid giving details for your reason:
Do not share too much information with them about your reason. Just let them know how you feel and stand on your ground. If you start giving them too much detail then, they might feel extremely hurt and this can also have a negative impression on the person’s self esteem.
Invite them less:
If you want them to stop coming after you by themselves then, you have to act distant. Avoid having any personal conversation with them and start inviting them less. This will give them an idea about how you want to cut ties with them and how you do not want to hang out with them. And this might slowly make them approach you less.
What are the signs you should not hang out with someone?
There are some prominent signs that can make you lose interest in a person. It can make you drift apart from them and you do not want to hang out with them anymore. When the reason is not personal then, it is possible that you do not like certain things about them. Following are some signs that can drive you to the point where you do not want to hang out with them.
- They are a bad influence on you
- They are never there for you
- Your vibes do not match
- They degrade you every chance they get
- They are overly critical
- They are prone to gossip
They are a bad influence on you:
One of the reasons why you do not want to hang out with someone is that they are a bad influence on you. They always make you part of uncomfortable situations. They do not care about your choices and about your emotions. Recently you have been avoiding them because you do not want them to be a part of your life.
They are never there for you:
It is natural for you to expect your friends to be there for you, but what if your friend is never there for you? You will feel disappointed because when you need them the most, they are never there for you. This is one of the main grounds why a person can choose to ignore someone and not hang out with them anymore.
Your vibes do not match:
Lately you have been feeling that maybe the two of you are better off alone. There is a possibility that you both do not have the same personality and the two of you are constantly bickering. You have tried to make this friendship work but lately it feels like this friendship is making you feel mentally and emotionally drained.
They degrade you every chance they get:
Another main reason for you to avoid someone and not hang out with them is they are unnecessarily mean towards you. They do not leave any chance to degrade you or criticize you. It has been a long time since you started noticing these changes and you have every right to leave a situation like this. You are not wrong if you do not want to hang out with them anymore.
They are overly critical:
Regardless what you do, they will always criticize you and make you feel bad about yourself. They are overly critical of your every move. Despite everything that you do they will always try to bring you down. If your friends are showing these signs then, it will be best for you to ignore them and not hang out with them anymore. It will be the best decision for you and your mental health.
They are prone to gossip:
As a friend you would want to talk to them about their life and share your feelings with them. But it is impossible for you to do so, if your friend only gossips about other people whenever you talk. It is like their sole purpose is to discuss what is going on in other people’s lives. You slowly start to drift apart and one day you will decide to put an end to it. You will just stop hanging out with them.
How to deal with someone you do not want to hang out with but they keep on ignoring your signs?
There is a possibility that someone ignores all of your ways to not hang out with them. Whenever you try to avoid them, they still find a way to be around you. In that case, you might feel frustrated and angry which can be destructive for you and people around you. If you ever encounter a situation where you have to deal with someone who is ignoring all of your signs of not wanting to hang out with them then, you should follow these tips.
- Figure out what you can and can’t control
- Are you being too respectful?
- Handle things as soon as they happen
- Reduce contact
- Have a conversation
Figure out what you can and can’t control:
Not everything is under your control. But this does not mean that you cannot try. Figure out what you can and can’t control in this situation. You cannot control where they go or what they do, but you can most certainly control yourself. If you see them hanging out with the same people you were supposed to hang out with then, you can take a step back and not include yourself in that situation. This will give you space from them and if they are willingly ignoring all of your signs then, this would also work as a lesson for them.
Are you being too respectful?
There is a chance that they are taking advantage of your kindness. Maybe you need to be more firm with them. There is a chance that they are doing this because they know you will never be able to say “no” to them because you are too nice for your own good. If you don’t want them around you then, you must stand your ground and be firm with them.
Handle things as soon as they happen:
Do not give in and handle things as soon as they happen. If you see them ignoring your signs then, do something about it then and there. Do not give in to a situation like this, this will give them an impression that you are too nice and they will walk all over you. If you call them out instantly and be firm with them then, they would know you were not joking with them and start taking this matter more seriously.
Do not keep in touch with them unnecessarily. If needed, block them from your social media. This will be enough sign for them that you were not kidding with them. This will also limit their contact with you. They will not be able to contact you everyday, so reducing your contact with them is the best thing that you can do.
Have a conversation:
It will be best for you both if you have a direct conversation with them. Tell them exactly how you feel when they ignore your signs, be direct and honest with them. This will eliminate every possibility from their mind, but if they continue doing things regardless of what you said to them then, you must stop your contact with them even if it is minimal. You have to understand that they are doing things just to irk you and make you feel aggressive.
It is not easy to tell someone that you do not want to hang out with them. You have to be prepared for every kind of reaction and you have to respect their reaction as well. Whether they feel sad, hurt, angry, or hateful towards you you must respect them and try to make them understand your point of view. But it is easier said than done. Sometimes things might not work in your favor. They might ignore all of your signs and still find a way to be a part of your life.
When something like this happens, it is natural for you to feel frustrated and angry at the other person. Because you have tried being nice to them and telling them how you don’t want to hang out with them. On the surface they accepted your decision but you know they are deliberately doing everything that shows how they don’t respect your views at all. If that is the case then, you must stop being too nice with them and tell them directly how you feel about hanging out with them, without sugar coating anything.