Worried how to stop liking someone who is not meant for you? Well look no further as we have got you covered. This article will share with you some important tips to get you started.
As humans, we are created to desire and give affection.Hence, there is nothing wrong with liking someone as long as they’re right for you. How to know if they are right for you? Well, they should make you feel good about yourself, they should respect you and be kind to you. If you can characterize your relationship using the aforementioned factors, then you are in the right direction.
However, if your partner is someone who takes you for granted, you are likely in a toxic relationship. Many people who are in a toxic relationship continue to love and care for their partners. This can take a toll on their emotional and mental wellbeing. Thus, while it may take time to get used to their absence, it is necessary that you take steps to push them out of your life.
It can be difficult and frustrating to not know how to stop liking someone who you have been so devoted to. Nevertheless, it isn’t impossible and can be achieved with the right tips. In this article we will learn how to stop liking someone who is not right for you.
You matter and so does your emotional stability; hence, read along to find out what efforts you can make to remove someone from your heart and mind.
Table of Contents
Why do humans fall in love?
People fall in love because they felt a connection or some sort of similarity; while some might say they felt somewhat comfortable being with a specific person. Love can feel complicated and many factors contribute to falling in love. Things like physical chemistry, attraction and shared interests may fuel that initial spark, but love is all about compatibility!
Compatibility is often misunderstood. Compatibility does not refer to physical attraction, chemistry or even similarity. It is the ease with which two people communicate and relate to each other. I like to think of compatibility as to how two people’s energy or vibes combine and naturally flow. This ease of relating is the vital component of falling in love.
As cheesy as this may sound, you fall in love with the person that completes you. When their personality brings out the best in you and vice versa, that bond is something you just can’t ignore. People naturally want to be with partners who make them a better person.
Compatibility is an often misunderstood concept. Compatibility does not refer to physical attraction, chemistry or even similarity. It is the ease with which two people communicate and relate to each other. I like to think of compatibility as to how two people’s energy or vibes combine and naturally flow. This ease of relating is the vital component of falling in love!
How to know if someone is right for you
It is true when they say that you know it when you meet the right person. A straightforward way to know that a person you’re with is right for you is listening to your heart. This is called your intuition or your heart’s message.
Some signs you’ve met the right person are that you feel good when you’re with them, they are honest and trustworthy, and treat you nicely when you’re alone or in public.
You will know that you are with the right person if it feels natural.When you are with the right person, you will connect with them effortlessly, and your conversations will flow smoothly and not feel forced or awkward. You love spending quality time together, and they will feel more like your best friend.
You will also know it is the right person if they love you for who you are. This way, you won’t feel the need to be someone else to please him.
Another indication that a person is right for you is that you believe everything they tells you. You don’t have any reasons to doubt them. You don’t feel uncertain or confused with the things they share or tell you, and you feel excited and nervous about the future of your relationship.
When you think about them, you feel a certain warmth and assurance that makes you smile. You are also calm when you think of them and their persistent and unwavering faithfulness to you.
How to know someone is not right for you
Certain signs that someone may not value you or your relationship are easy to spot.
A common one is not asking you about your feelings, life, or what’s important to you. This can look different depending on the relationship.
They may not check in to hear your ideas on certain projects at work, for example. They might organize a gathering and leave you out, even when you’re part of the team. Or they may spend all the time talking about themselves and never get to you.
Jenny Walters, a licensed therapist in Los Angeles, says that when someone doesn’t value or respect your feelings you may feel like you need to walk on eggshells around that person and that you generally don’t feel seen or heard.
Couple’s relationship coach in Fairmont, West Virginia, Cheri Timko says other signs that someone doesn’t care about you may include if they:
- don’t value mutuality in the relationship
- fail to show any interest or curiosity in you or your life
- have a different agenda for the relationship than you do
- don’t ever seek you or your opinion out
- ignore the impact of their actions on you
- don’t respond to your requests to change their behavior
How to stop liking someone
While it may seem impossible to let go of those intense feelings, it is doable. You should know your self-worth and jump on the high horse of happiness rather than dwelling in sadness over someone who wasn’t yours, to begin with. Here are some helpful tips to assist you in moving on:
1. Keep your distance
The first step to take would be to maintain a safe distance from the person you like. Do not text or call them or even look at their Instagram stories. In case you might have to talk to them for some reason, make sure to keep personal discussions off the table. For instance, if he or she is your colleague and you need to talk about some urgent assignment at work, try to limit the conversation to just that topic.
2. Write about it
When you can’t talk about something, it helps to gather all your thoughts and write them out instead. This journaling will help put the finger on exactly what you are feeling and sort out your thoughts. It is a great method to be honest with your inner self and figure out what attracted you to them in the first place. This will also help you in knowing what you want your future partners to be like.
3. Cut off physical contact
This could be a difficult task to accomplish, but it only serves a greater purpose of restoring your happiness. Unless you two work or study together, you should avoid them and keep them out of your personal space.
4. Don’t stalk on social media
We are all guilty of stalking our crushes on social media platforms, right? It is very easy to get sucked into being a cyberstalker when it involves someone you are deeply attracted to. What you need to do is unfollow or block them on all social media accounts to protect your own sanity. This will provide you ample time and space to move on.
5. Discard all reminders
When you are constantly around things or items that always remind you of someone you are trying to forget, you will find yourself stuck in that inevitable circle of feelings you are trying to fight. Did you two always share a bar of chocolate before a big presentation? Were they the ones to give you those earrings you loved wearing with every outfit? Well, it’s time to keep them at a distance. “Out of sight, out of mind” works best when you can’t get rid of something permanently.
6. Jot down what you liked about them
Now, this might sound completely absurd and contradictory, but there’s a reason to try this out. Start to pen down those traits that made you feel attracted to him. Why, you ask?
Well, instead of letting your thoughts go haywire in your head, it is better to have it all out on paper. This will keep your mind from obsessing over them. Additionally, you now know what you would want in a man you wish to settle with in your future.
7. Write down the cons too
You are done with the pros. Now, it’s time to pour down the cons on paper. Write a list of traits that you do not like about him, but make sure the number is the same as the list you have made before. Consider all the things he has ever said that you didn’t appreciate or things he did that weren’t likable. This task will help you take a step back from everything and understand why this could have happened for good, after all.
8. Date other people
Nothing will keep your mind off the person you like than going out and getting back in the game of dating others. When you put yourself out there, you never know what a gem you can find. But if you spend your time obsessing over a relationship with the person who isn’t meant for you, you might miss a great chance. Know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you deserve to go out and find one that is worth your time.
9. Keep yourself busy
Want to run a marathon you have been putting off? Want to go out and try your hand at an open mic comedy night? Now is your time. Go and do it all right away. Doing so acts as a distraction and lets you socialize with people outside of your circle who share the same interests.
10. Do you actually love them?
Let’s get real. Do you really think you are in love with them, or is this a temporary infatuation? You might not know them completely to feel something for them. There could always be things about them that could end up being toxic for you. All you know is that you are attracted to them and what they portray themselves as. If it’s not love, you don’t need to give them a lot of thought.
11. Reconnect with old friends
Having your close friends and family near you in times of crisis like this can help you feel better. Surround yourself with people who support you in all your endeavors and cheer you up. These are the people who can give you the much-needed motivation to pick yourself up.
12. Focus on yourself
Turning the attention away from him requires focusing just on yourself. Fill your schedule with things that you have always wanted to try out. Go on a solo foreign trip, start those salsa classes, or learn a new language. These things do take your attention off of him and also help you in your personal growth.
13. Get rid of the monotonous routine
Stop doing the same old chores and activities that you have been following for quite some time. If you are going to all those same places and crunching up the same routine, it will be even harder to take your mind off your crush. Get up, refresh, and reload your daily routine. Start going for a jog every morning or join a gym.
14. Be kind to yourself
Getting attracted to someone is normal. But if those feelings are not being reciprocated, it doesn’t mean you will beat yourself up over the fact that you are not healing from the heartbreak as soon as you would have wanted to. It is a difficult process, so it is best that you stay kind to yourself first.
Unreciprocated feelings can leave you quite hurt and question your self-worth. It can be a big blow to your confidence when you like someone who does not feel the same way or chooses someone else over you. The best way to deal with such situations is to immediately distance yourself from them on all fronts, remind yourself about their shortcomings, get back into the dating pool, and focus on yourself. It will not do you any good to keep thinking about what might have been. Rather, loving yourself and moving on is the best step for you.
Things that are more important than love
It’s so easy to get caught up in strong feelings for another person. Love is a potent cocktail of emotions, after all, and it can start to seem like it’s all that really matters. But experts agree there are quite a few things more important in a relationship than love. And keeping those things in mind, while moving forward as a couple, is essential.
That doesn’t, however, mean you can’t be a total romantic at the same time. Love poems are amazing. Dinner dates are the best. And nothing beats receiving flowers (or pizza) from a doting partner. Those are nice add-ons; sweet things you can do for each other to show just how passionate you are. But just like your giant heart-shaped eyes, they aren’t what will keep you together.
When it comes to love and relationships, it’s all much more complicated than that. And if you’re only in the relationship because of the feeling of love, you will soon feel that the relationship is slipping. There has to be more going on, like trust, respect, and good communication, or else it’ll become stale — and could even grow toxic over time.
1. Being able to trust one another
It doesn’t matter how much you love another person: If you can’t trust them, it isn’t going to work. Trust is essential to healthy relationships, which is why it’s always one of the first things experts look for when assessing a couple’s connection.
And we’re not just talking about cheating and infidelity, but trust with intimate information, trust with being vulnerable, trust that they will come through in a challenging time, and so on. It all means your partner has your back, and you have theirs.
Without trust, you’ll live a life of stress and hurt. So ask yourself, do you really want to spend your days with the gut-twisting worry that comes with having a shady or unavailable partner? It’s no way to live, so make trust a goal.
If it doesn’t come right away, you can work on getting there over time, possibly with the help of a therapist. Talk about why you don’t currently feel secure or cared for, and come up with ways to build trust together.
2. Respecting one another
Have you ever had or witnessed this conversation? “My partner’s such a jerk.” “Then why do you stay with them?” “Because I love them.” This classic exchange shows how love can blind you to the reality of a bad situation, including being with someone who doesn’t show you respect.
It’s tempting to look the other way, especially when the idea of breaking up and losing the person you love so much — sounds positively miserable. Keep in mind, though, how much more important respect is when looking for a solid relationship, than simply being in love.
Respect is all about honoring each other’s differences. A couple doesn’t need to have the same interests or even passions, but they do need to have the capacity to understand the other. One must be present with their partner without judgment, demands, and unreachable expectations.
3. Feeling safe in each others presence
Are you safe in your relationship? Do you feel secure? If the answer is “no,” then it doesn’t matter even a little bit how much you love the person, especially if it’s become an emotionally abusive relationship. A toxic situation is a toxic situation, no matter how you try to frame it. But it can be really tough to see that when all you’re focused on is love.
Of course, these types of relationships can get stickier than that. If you are in a relationship for love, it’s likely that you will stay in it because one or more of your inherent needs are being met. Love can meet many needs, like a need for validation, for support, or connection.
In the case of a toxic situation, it’s often best to look for a safe way out. Love is never going to be enough to fix an emotionally abusive partner, no matter how hard you try.
To make yourself stop liking someone requires discipline in practicing how to stop liking someone. Your subconscious needs to find reasons to stop liking your crush; these reasons must be deliberately and consciously orchestrated if you must stop yourself from liking someone or get over someone not liking you.
Some of the ways on how to stop liking someone may be tough, but you have to practice them consistently. This will save you from any form of emotional stress that could arise from liking someone you can’t have.
Make up your mind to practice the tips above, and you would gradually stop liking a guy or your ex.