Getting through a breakup can be challenging. You cannot eliminate all the memories in just one day, and it is a long process and a painful one at that. Follow this article to learn about how to get through a breakup of a long term relationship and how you can maintain your mental health while trying to get through a breakup.
It is not easy getting over someone with whom you spent a significant amount of time. You loved that person and you shared so many beautiful memories with them. It can be challenging for you to get through a breakup especially if the relationship was long term. It is not possible to just erase every memory from your mind and move on. You are a human who has feelings, not a robot. This will be a long process and it is going to be painful for you to move on, but this is something that you have to do now.
Life is not a movie, that you can simply move on to the next scene. In reality, dealing with a breakup can mess you up really bad. It can make you fall into depression and anxiety, it can lower your self esteem, and it can make you neglect your work and most importantly, yourself. You might feel like it is a pit and there is no way out of there, but there is a way out. You can get your life back on to the right path and get through a breakup if you start working on yourself again.
Follow this article to learn more about how to get through a breakup of a long term relationship and how you can maintain your mental health while trying to get through a breakup.
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How to get through a breakup of a long term relationship?
Getting through a breakup is not as easy as it sounds, but you have to encourage yourself to move forward. If you keep living in denial and not move on from a relationship that has already ended then, it is going to negatively affect your mental health. Follow these steps and learn about how to get through a breakup of a long term relationship.
- Rebuild your self esteem
- Focus on your positive qualities
- Try new places
- Lean on your network
- Avoid going after a rebound
- Take a realistic walk down memory lane
- Do a social media detox
- Do not gossip about your ex
- Let go of the idea of closure
- Realize that you are not getting back together
- Take a break from dating if you need to
- Keep yourself busy
- Do not rely on your ex for support
- Do not personalize the loss
- Give yourself some slack
Rebuild your self esteem:
A breakup can be really hard for a person’s self esteem, especially if that breakup is of a long term relationship. Initially you might feel like maybe you did something wrong and maybe it is your fault. But you have to understand that no relationship is worth your self esteem. So, if you want to get through a breakup then, the first step for you would be to work on your self esteem and remind yourself how important you are.
Focus on your positive qualities:
Think about every good thing that is in your life. All the good qualities that are very rare these days. Remind yourself about the goodness inside of you. If you want to get through your breakup then, you should focus more on positivity rather than clouding your mind with negative thoughts.
Try new places:
Now that you are on your own, you can visit the places that you have always wanted. Go to your dream location and meet new people. It will work as a therapy for you and you will be able to get through your breakup. It will be like a detox and this is one of the supreme ways to clear your mind after going through a breakup of a long term relationship.
Lean on your network:
Connect with all the people that you were unable to contact during your time in that relationship. Get in touch with them, your family and friends. They are the ones who will always love and support you no matter what. Open up about your emotions to them and share what you are going through. This will make the entire getting through a breakup less painful for you because you will have your loved ones backing you.
Avoid going after a rebound:
Do not go after a rebound relationship immediately after your breakup. It is a good substitute but it will only make you forget about things for a small period of time. Always remember that numbing the pain is only going to make it worse when you finally feel it. You will feel guilty afterwards and this might lead to stress.
Take a realistic walk down memory lane:
Go down memory lane and think about all the things that went wrong between you two. It is natural that at first all the good things and pleasant memories are going to come into your mind. But when you pay attention, you will realize that not everything was rainbows and unicorns. There were signs present that your ex was looking for ways to end this relationship. It was just you who was giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Do a social media detox:
It will be better if you stay away from social media for sometime. Give time to yourself, take care of yourself, and do not forget to spend some time with your friends and family. This will help you get through your breakup more quickly. Avoid social media and indulge yourself in things that make you happy.
Do not gossip about your ex:
Avoid talking about your ex as much as possible. Do not talk about them with your friends and family at all. This will help you move on with your life. If you keep on talking about your ex and your past relationship then, it will be hard for you to move on from your breakup. If you want to dismiss the idea of your ex and get over him in a healthy way then, you should let go of them.
Let go of the idea of closure:
It is natural for you to feel the need of getting closure. But sometimes it is best if you let go of the idea of closure. You may want to talk to them one last time and get to know the reason behind your breakup, but it is better for you if you just let it go and move on.
Realize that you are not getting back together:
It may be hard for you to accept the fact that you have split up, but you have to understand that you two are no longer together. Your relationship with your partner has ended and you are not getting back together. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be for you to get through your breakup. If you keep on living with the hope that one day your ex will come back to you then, you will never be able to move on.
Take a break from dating if you need to:
Do not date immediately after your breakup, take some time off and relax. If you immediately start dating someone then, there is a chance you will not be able to have a stable and healthy relationship with your partner. It is because you would still be grieving about your ex, so take your time and date other people when you are ready both emotionally and mentally.
Keep yourself busy:
It is best if you keep yourself busy and indulge yourself with things that you enjoy. Keep yourself busy with stuff that you are passionate about. It is the best way to take your mind off things. It will give you some space and you would be able to reflect on your life and everything that has been going around you.
Do not rely on your ex for support:
If you want to proceed from your ex and start living your life after your breakup then, the most important thing you can do is get away from your ex as far as possible. Do not rely on your ex for anything, you are not in a relationship with your ex anymore. So, you must start figuring out things all by yourself and be independent. Plus you will have your friends and family to lean on.
Do not personalize the loss:
A breakup can be really hard for you and most of the time people take their breakups personally. You have to understand that whatever happened was not your fault. Do not take this loss personally because it will affect your mental health negatively. If you start thinking that your breakup was entirely your fault then, it will negatively affect your self esteem.
Give yourself some slack:
You are allowed to feel your emotions, you are already going through so much. It will not be good for you, if you keep on putting pressure on yourself and start demeaning yourself then, your mental health will be negatively affected. Give yourself some time, take one step at a time, and believe in yourself. Give yourself some slack and everything is going to be fine.
How can you maintain your mental health while trying to get through a breakup?
Breakups can be extremely hard for you both emotionally and mentally. Especially if a person starts to take the loss personally then, it can have a huge impact on your self esteem. There is no easy or quick way to deal with a breakup and it can be mentally exhausting for you. Here are some ways you can maintain your mental health while trying to get through a breakup.
- Consult a professional
- Write down your feelings
- Do not fight your feelings
- Prioritize your self care
- Avoid unhealthy coping strategies
- Examine what you can learn from this relationship
- Remember that you can get through on your own
- Do not lose hope in people and relationships
Consult a professional:
It will be hard for you to open up to others about your feelings and emotions. In that case you must consult a professional therapist. They will help you figure out your emotions, you will also be able to regulate your emotions and feelings. This will help you stop blaming yourself and you will be able to see things from a different perspective. This is the best way to maintain your mental health when you are trying to get through a breakup.
Write down your feelings:
This is a great exercise for you. If you ever feel like you are unable to share your feelings with others no matter how much you try then, writing down your feelings and emotions in a journal or in a diary can help you a lot. You will be able to dish out what you feel and how you are dealing with everything with yourself. This is a great substitute for when you do not want to talk to others.
Do not fight your feelings:
Your emotions are valid and it is okay for you to feel hurt when you are trying to get through a breakup of a long term relationship. Your emotions are not stupid and meaningless, they are valid and you are right in your place. It is okay for you to feel agony, angry, sad, and lonely after breaking up with your partner.
Prioritize your self care:
It is extremely important for you to take care of yourself. If you are not looking after yourself then, how will you be able to move on from your breakup? If you want to take care of yourself then, no one else is going to do that for you. You should make yourself your first priority and always keep yourself first.
Avoid unhealthy coping strategies:
You might feel like numbing your pain with alcohol or other substances. But you must remember that these things will only be able to give you relief for a short period of time and if you keep on relying on these substances then, it will negatively affect your physical and mental health. So, avoid using any unhealthy coping strategies.
Examine what you can learn from this relationship:
Do not let this breakup affect your mental health. You must look closely and learn from your relationship. Examine what went wrong between you two and try to work on things that you think you can change. Learn from your errors and do not let this breakup negatively affect your self esteem.
Remember that you can get though on your own:
It is not necessary for you to get support from your partner. Whatever your ex used to do for you, you can do them yourself. You can survive without your ex. You are worth more than your previous relationship and it might be a difficult time for you, but there is nothing that you can’t do. You must look after yourself and not pressurize yourself. Take things slow.
Do not lose hope in people and relationships:
It is natural to feel hurt and angry after your breakup, but isolating yourself is never a healthy option. It can make you lose hope in other people. You will not be able to trust other people when it comes to dating. You might see every person in the same light and think maybe they will also leave you. So, you have to understand that not every person will be like your ex, there is someone out there who is good for you, do not lose hope.
It is not easy getting over a breakup, especially if you are breaking up a long term relationship. You have lots of memories together, both good and bad that you will always remember them. So, it can be really hard for you to get through a breakup but you must not lose hope in yourself. Isolating yourself and not opening up about your emotions is never a healthy option. It will have an unfavorable effect on your mental health and your self esteem.
It will be best for you if you take some time off and go on a break. Keep yourself busy and indulge yourself in activities that you love, meet new people, and always take care of yourself. These little things can help you a lot and if you are unable to share your feelings with someone then, you can write them down. This is one of the supreme ways to express your emotions and it will also help you regulate them.