Trust is the most important element of any relationship. It is the foundation of your relationship, but what if you find out that your partner has been lying to you? Follow this article to learn more about how lying destroys relationships and what you should do if you catch your partner lying.
When you are in a relationship with someone, you would expect your partner to be faithful to you, you would expect him to be honest with you, you would want him to love you, and respect you. All of these things are some of the most important elements of a relationship. These things make a relationship healthy and stable. If any one of these things are missing then, you will face difficulty in your relationship. All of these elements are linked together in a relationship. When you respect someone, you trust them, and when you trust them, you like them and support them.
But what if your partner lies to you in a relationship? Then, you would naturally start questioning everything that has happened before. You will not be able to believe anything they say and this will only affect your relationship negatively. Slowly and gradually you will start doubting everything that your partner says, you will always have a doubt on him, and this will lead to fights and cheating in the future.
Follow this article and explore how lying destroys relationships and what you should do if you catch your partner lying.
Table of Contents
How lying destroys relationships?
Being honest is the most important element in any relationship. When you are able to trust your partner only then you would be open with them and share your feelings and emotions with them. No one can find it in themselves to share their personal details with someone who is not honest, someone who is always lying. That will never be the case.
When you are in a relationship and you find out that your partner has lied to you then, it is natural that you would start questioning everything they have said until now. The entire foundation of your relationship will start to crumble. Following are some ways how lying destroys relationships.
- Lies eliminate trust
- It shows lack of respect
- You are always waiting for the liar to slip up again
- It is selfishness
- You start thinking of yourself as a fool for believing your partner
- It makes a relationship unstable
- Lies attract more lies
- Lying can affect the other aspects of your life
- It can destroy communication between you and your partner
- The reason behind your lies don’t matter
Lies eliminate trust:
Being able to trust your partner is the biggest blessing for a person in a relationship. But when your partner lies to you, then you start questioning everything right from the start. You have no idea whether they were lying to you about only this one time or they have been doing it since the beginning. This overthinking will ruin your entire relationship.
It shows lack of respect:
A person who loves you and respects you will never lie to you. So, when you are in a relationship with someone and you lie to them about anything, you are basically showing your lack of respect for them. Because if you respected them then, you would have told them the truth, no matter how hard it was. If you are not honest with your partner then, it means you don’t love and respect them.
You are always waiting for the liar to slip up again:
If you catch your partner lying to you once, you will always keep on doubting them. Every time they do something, you would wait for their lies to be exposed because they would have done it in the past. Your mind will not let you move on from that incident and no matter what happens in the future, you will wait for the liar to slip up again.
It is selfishness:
Your partner might tell you that he lied because he did not want to hurt you. But the truth is, he lied to you because he was scared of the outcome. It was his selfishness that drove him to lie to you. So, never let your partner put this blame on you that because of you he lied in the relationship. He lied because he wanted to save himself and get out of that situation.
You start thinking of yourself as a fool for believing your partner:
When you find that your partner has been lying to you then, you would start thinking bad about yourself, you will start feeling low about yourself because when they were lying to you, you believed them. It was never your fault, but your mind will tell you otherwise. So, when your partner lies to you, it directly affects your self esteem as well as your relationship’s foundation.
It makes a relationship unstable:
A stable relationship is the one where you can trust your partner, you know that they love and respect you, you both are honest with each other, and you both care about each other and support each other. All of these things are linked with each other. So, when your partner lies to you in a relationship then, it will make your relationship unstable and unhealthy. You will be unable to believe your partner and you will doubt each and everything that they say and do.
Lies attract more lies:
Never think that if you have lied once then, everything will be fine and you won’t have to do it again. Then you are wrong. As soon as you lie to your partner, you have to remember that to cover up that lie, you might have to lie again and again. And the more you lie, the more twisted everything is going to be.
Lying can affect the other aspects of your life:
Once you start lying to your partner then, it will become easy for you to lie every time you are in trouble. At work, with your friends, your family, or any other aspect of your life. A person who lies to everyone, especially to their partners, can never be trusted.
It can destroy communication between you and your partner:
When you know that your partner has been lying to you then, it will be impossible for you to have a conversation with your partner. Even if you two try to have a conversation even then, your mind will not believe anything they tell you. You would believe that if they lied before then, there is a chance they are lying right now as well.
The reason behind your lies don’t matter:
No matter what was the reason behind your lies, it does not matter. What matters is that you lied to your partner. Being in a relationship with someone means that you would love them, be honest with them, and respect them. If you are not honest with your partner then, your explanation does not matter. You lied to your partner which shows that you have no respect for your partner.
What are the signs that your partner is lying to you?
Honesty is the most important pillar of any relationship. If your partner is not honest with you and he is lying then, most probably there are going to be the following signs present in front of you.
- Change in body language
- He starts acting defensive
- He is distracted nowadays
- His stories are inconsistent
- He sounds rehearsed
Change in his body language:
If you want to know whether your partner has been lying to you or not then, you have to observe his body language. Bring up the subject in front of your partner and see how his body changes, if his muscles become hard and he starts to sit in a rigid position and he starts to avoid eye contact with you then, this is a sign that this is a sore subject for your partner and he is definitely hiding something from you.
He starts acting defensive:
If you ask him about something that you have a doubt on and if he starts getting defensive about the situation then you know he is hiding something. If he avoids meeting your eyes when he is talking and he keeps his phone away from you as if he is scared of something then, this is a sign that he is afraid you will catch his lies.
He is distracted nowadays:
Nowadays he is distracted and does not pay much attention to what is going on around him. It is like his mind is somewhere else. It is because his mind is constantly dealing with the consequences of lying, he is reevaluating his decision of lying to you. That is why he is distracted nowadays.
His stories are inconsistent:
One of the major signs that he is lying to you is that he will never be able to keep up with his lies and stories. Initially his story was different but when you asked him after some time then, he changed something about his story. This shows how inconsistent he is about his stories and a person who is telling the truth will never do something like that.
He sounds rehearsed:
Whenever you ask him about that incident then either his stories don’t add up or he sounds rehearsed. It is like he has practiced this answer in his head a thousand times and he knows what your questions are going to be.
What should you do if you catch your partner lying?
It is natural for you to feel hurt and betrayed when you find out that your partner has been lying to you. But it is also important for you to understand when and why your partner lied to you. Do not react immediately and try to calm yourself down. Once you calm down only then you would be able to make a healthy decision for yourself and for your relationship. Following are some tips on what you should do if you catch your partner lying.
- Do not react immediately
- Understand why they are lying
- Have an honest conversation with your partner
- Think about how your partner’s lies affected your relationship
- Give yourself some space to think
- Talk to a third person
- Think carefully before you make any decision
- Inform your partner as soon as you make your decision
Do not react immediately:
If you know about the truth then, it is best for you to not react immediately. Give it sometime and see if your partner will tell you himself or not. If he is not saying anything then, see how far he is willing to take this. This will also give you an idea about your partner and your relationship with him.
Understand why they are lying:
You must understand the reason behind their lies. Listen to what they have to say and understand why they lied to you. Maybe they lied because they did not want to see you upset or hurt. Maybe they lied to you because they wanted to protect you. All of these reasons do not make the experience any less painful but, it will help you come to a conclusion.
Have an honest conversation with your partner:
The best thing that you can do before you make any decision is to sit down and have an honest conversation with your partner. Tell him how you feel about everything and then, listen to their side of the story calmly. This will help you clear up so many things and also you will be able to make a more conscious decision.
Think about how your partner’s lies affected your relationship:
Think about the situation and how your partner’s lies affected your relationship. Think whether it is inevitable or can you make this work. Think about how big the lie was and why your partner chose to lie in the first place. Also think about your behavior with them before and after the incident.
Give yourself some space to think:
This entire situation can be overwhelming for you. So, do not put stress on yourself and give yourself some space. Go outside and get some fresh air, this will help you think about things more clearly and also you will be able to get away from the situation which will be best for your emotions at that time.
Talk to a third person:
It will be better for you if you share your thoughts and emotions with your friends or family. This will help you get a third person’s opinion. Maybe talking to them will help you see things in a different light and from a different perspective. This is the best thing for you at that time, talking to someone can help you sort out your emotions which are all over the place.
Think carefully before you make any decision:
Think about your partner and your relationship with him before you make any decision that can alter your life and your partner’s life as well. Think about all the time you have spent with your partner and think about the moment that led you both into this situation. Think about different aspects of your relationship before you come to any conclusion.
Inform your partner as soon as you make your decision:
If you have reached a decision then, do not keep your partner waiting. Tell him as soon as you make a decision. Whether you are willing to forgive him or not, let them know. Lying and keeping things from each other drove you both at this point so, it is best to be direct with him once you have made up your mind.
Being honest in a relationship is extremely important, it makes your relationship with your partner healthy and stable. But what if you find out that your partner lied to you? It is natural for you to feel hurt and betrayed after finding this out, but what hurts the most is the fact that your partner is still playing his lying game and you are just waiting for him to accept his mistake and come clean to you. But all of this is going to leave a huge scar on your relationship.
Lying can do immense damage to your relationship. So much so that your relationship might not be the same again. You will think that if your partner lied to you about this then, there is a possibility that he has been lying to you from the beginning. This also eliminates trust between you and your partner because you know that lies attract more lies and once a person gets comfortable with lying then, it is going to affect their every aspect of life.