Before we get started, I want to point out that in the wrong hands these methods are dangerous. None of these methods should be used to harm or manipulate another person wrongfully. There are right and wrong ways to influence people and win friends. Please use psychology without being a jerk or making someone feel bad.
Those who are not successful are selfish and show no empathy. Don’t push people out of your way or steam roll them just so you can get your agenda approved, instead seek advice and make friends first and you’ll find yourself with a greater ability to influence others.
The Ground Rules
Your ability to influence people is a true asset that will take you far in the real world. Not only does it allow you to help others to do great things, but it also helps encourage people to see things from your perspective. This article will help you to master the fine art of influencing people.
It’s funny how we can subconsciously mirror somebody without even knowing. Mirroring is simply a part of body language. The trick is to realize what you are doing first in order to influence and gain control over the conversation.
Table of Contents
21. Be Aware of Your Surroundings
Being aware of such ways to influence others also gives you an advantage when someone is using them on you. You are less prone to fall for the tricks.
True commitment to people will help you succeed with influencing others. This will give you the endorsements and support you need to execute your task or plan. And in today’s complicated world, when you’re going big or going home, cutting your expenses or faced with tough challenges, you need all the commitment you can get.
The following tips will help you to win fans and influence people.
20. Watch Their Eyes
The next time you are trying to gain approval, take a look at their pupils. Your pupils are a part of your body language that you have no control over. In 1975, psychologist Eckhard Hess concluded that a person who is interested in you or with what you are saying will have dilated pupils.
19. Get Foot Approval
A person’s feet can tell you whether or not they’re into you. It’s easy for someone to put a poker face on but they don’t always have control what they’re feet are doing. If they are pointing directly at you they are interested, if not, well you get the hint.
18. Attracting Votes
Wearing the right color you become an instant authority, the wrong color can get you killed. Studies reveal that wearing a blue makes you seem more conservative, secure, clean, and trustworthy. Wearing read is a power play and indicates danger as well as passionate and loving. It’s a color that could get you jumped.
17. Colors Influence
If you are in a politically charged conversation and trying to persuade people you have to look no further than their eyes. Try glancing away from the person you are talking to. It’s likely they are a liberal if they follow your eyes while a conservative won’t bother to follow.
16. Touching Makes More Money
This may be hard to believe but studies show that women earn more tips when they touch customers lightly on the shoulder, arm, or hand.
15. Cheaters Come Out At Night
A new study out tells us that people are more likely to tell the truth during the day and lie, cheat, and steal at night. The funny thing is that the early risers are more likely to lie at night and the night owls will lie to you in the morning.
14. Powerful Looks
If you know how to scare away a bear then you’ve probably already mastered this one. People who take up a lot of space are perceived as being more powerful. They tend to use bigger more broad gestures and take up a lot of space in a room physically. Tall people are statistically have more successful careers.
13. Play Your Cards Right
The best way to earn the trust of another person is to let them speak first. Give them the floor by asking them a question. Listening and making them feel like they are being heard and understood will yield more trust in your favor.
12. Grow a Stache
Growing a mustache will help you get what you want because you’ll be perceived as more powerful and influential. Another recent study concluded that men with moustaches earned more money than those who had a beard or were clean shaven. It’s another good reason to join the Movember club.
11. Nod Your Head
Nodding your head up and down is contagious to the crowd you are talking to. The more you nod, the more positive people begin to feel about what you say. Always get the yes is what they teach you in sales. So it’s natural to use this method to help influence others. Bob your head up and down to gain agreement and get the yes even when it is bad news.
10. Pay Attention to Micro-Expressions
In the TV series “Lie to Me” a lot of emphasis was placed on micro-expressions as a sign of deception. Body language expert, Joe Navarro, who worked for the FBI, said the show got it all wrong. So do many professionals. In the 268 cases shown, the officers got it 100% wrong because they were looking for the wrong signs. Instead of looking for psychological discomfort they looked for signs of deception.
9. Look Experienced
The Journal of Individual Differences published a story that found people with tattoos looked more sexually experienced than those who are ink-free. Tattoos give the impression that the person is more adventurous and have had more sexual partners making them good story tellers.
8. Love at First Sight
Have you ever gazed into someone’s eyes before? Believe it or not simple eye contact can make someone fall in love with you. Researchers have conducted studies that show when two strangers gazed in each other’s eyes for at least two minutes that some reported signs of passionate feelings toward the other.
7. Hair Play
When a women plays with her hair it can be a sign of flirting or romantic attraction. This is at least a good indicator that she is receptive and interested with what she is seeing or hearing. To go one step further, when a woman is playing with her jewelry is another sign she’s interested. If she’s wearing a necklace and it hangs low, out of respect watch where your eyes wonder.
6. Is Someone Lying?
You can tell if someone is lying by finding a contradicting part of the body and this has nothing to do with their nose growing. For example, look beyond the eyes to other parts of the body. If the torso is turned away or if they have a calm face but agitated fingers or feet watch out. Like we mentioned earlier, if the feet are pointing towards you that is a good sign. Pointing away means time to wrap things up and move on.
Forehead expressions can tell how open a person truly is. For some it can be a sign of frustration, boredom or tiredness. However, the more wrinkles and the deeper they are, the more open a person is likely to be. Characteristics of an open person show can also be seen in their eyebrows and the wrinkling in their forehead.
4. Always Look like You’re Winning
There’s something to be said if you act like you’re winning even when you’re losing. Body language can be intimidating and might be the edge you need to expose the cracks or weaknesses in your opponent. Walk and talk like a winner and see what happens.
3. What Kind of Money Are You Dealing With?
Socio Economic studies have shown that wealthy people are often less engaged in a conversation because they are distracted with fidgeting or doodling. This will be a tough nut to crack if you are trying to influence without speaking but could prove to be a big payoff.
2. Take Control with a Lean
If you are trapped in a conversation or are looking for a way to enter a dialogue try leaning forward into the conversation. This has been a proven technique to help control conversations as well as using a hand gesture to interrupt the space of the other individual. The idea is to catch their attention and they’ll give you the courtesy.
1. Ask For a Favor
We are breaking the rules with this one but feel that it deserves to be mentioned. The best way to gain influence over others is to ask someone to do a favor for you. This is also known as the Benjamin Franklin technique.
The story goes that Benjamin Franklin was looking for a way to influence a man who didn’t like him. His approach involved asking the man to borrow a book that was very rare. When he received the book he was very grateful and thankful towards the man. The result of this gesture persuaded someone who was never a Ben Franklin fan to become good friends with him.
To test this theory, scientists found that when they asked for a personal favor they were rated more favorable than others groups. It may sound silly but it plain works.